ChroniclesOfBlaaaaahnia

Tips for an Awesome Soccer World Cup

2010-05-29T19:58:00.011+02:00

While an African winter with daytime highs of 12 degrees Celsius might seem like sweltering heat to some Europeans, there are some important things to take note of when packing your bags to come to the very beautiful South Africa for the World Cup this June. With just under two weeks to go, you may want to take some tips from a relatively experienced traveller on some do's and don'ts for SA.

My own personal feelings at the disgust I feel every time our government has to kowtow to some Fifa whim, or how Fifa is raping our country and bleeding it dry, aside. Almost none of the official Fifa gear is made in South Africa and it looks like China is the biggest commercial winner from the World Cup. However, despite the fact that Fifa is curio shopping us with a ridiculous dreadlocked feline of some sort as a representation of our country, or the fact that something which looks like it was done on some graphics creator on MS Word is supposed to be indicative of San Rock Art, and even the fact that Fifa is the de facto government of our country as 11 June 2010: this is going to be a World Cup like no other.

A few things visitors might want to realise:
- Don't bring loads of luggage, jeans pretty much works everywhere here unless you know for sure that you're doing something that needs a particular outfit. You will need the luggage room to take back stuff from here. Once you've tasted our Mayonnaise, Milk Chocolate, Biltong, and a large variety of our ordinary tinned jams, and store bought biscuits you will be looking for space to take it all back.

- Look for items bearing the Proudly SA logo and things which are made in South Africa. There's no point in buying stuff from here that you can get anywhere else. Also the Proudly SA logo is placed on high quality goods and services, and we place a premium rate on labour so you can know for sure that you're helping South Africans.

- You are coming into our winter. It's been relatively mild this year, but remember you will need at least one fleece lined jacket. Five degree weather might be warm for you, but when you're seated in a stadium a few meters in the air and have freezing winds blowing past you, you will be grateful you brought one with.

- Different regions of our country have different winter climates. In KwaZulu-Natal you will probably have no need for anything warm and will enjoy the beautiful coast. In the Western Cape for matches in Cape Town, it's generally rainy there and quite windy. Skirts are not a good idea and a light Dry-mac or waterproof wind-breaker with a hood is generally a good idea to keep with you. If you're walking about the city, an umbrella or hoodie might be necessary. In the interior, in Gauteng and the Free State this is where you'll be finding the coldest climates, with bright sun, dry weather but a real chill nonetheless. Layering your clothing with light long sleeved t shirts and jackets etc allows you to enjoy the warmer time during the day from around 11am-3 or 4pm. Mpumalanga and Limpopo are also warm provinces during winter, but they have chilly mornings too.

-If you are going to Limpopo and Mpumalanga, as a precautionary measure take malaria prophylactics. We don't have as high a malaria risk as other parts of Africa, but you'd rather be safe than sorry. You may buy mosquito repellant sprays and creams from most of the larger supermarkets, pharmacies etc. Do try to visit the Kruger National Park for a safari while you're in these areas and be sure to visit places like Pilgrim's Rest along the way. These quaint little farm towns have some of the best home made foods and hospitality which makes South Africa famous. Do not be suprised if you ask a local for help in a supermarket and end up getting invited for supper to their home because you're a guest here. (I've seen that happen three times!)

-A VERY important reminder. In order to curb the illegal use of prescription drugs, South Africa does not allow for local pharmacists to issue medication on a script from your doctor overseas. Should you be on chronic medication and you wish to get a replacement, please visit a pharmacy and they will refer you to a local doctor who will give you a check up and write out a script for you, alternatively bring enough medication for the duration of your stay.

- A lot has been said about our crime rate, but a lot can be blamed on the stupidity of tourists. Do not be paranoid and huddle in groups all over, but at the same time don't be lax about safety and security. Try to avoid roaming the streets alone at night, this is logic which is applicable to all large cities around the world. Keep your wallet and other valuables safely stowed in hotel safes when you go out and get one of those travel wallet bags to keep cash on you safely.

- Speaking of cash, there's no need to carry loads around you. You will need change and stuff to pay for small things like parking, but most stores accept Visa, Diner's Club and Mastercard services. Traveller's cheques may be cashed at the airport for the better rates they offer, but a good option would be to have a debit/credit traveller card set up so that you can have it cancelled and a new one issued should anything unfortunate happen. Cash cannot be replaced, but cards and traveller's cheques can be re-issued.

-Pack sunblock with a high SPF. There's nothing worse than pasty ass European travellers who come here and turn red and then they look like they have some kind of skin rejecting disease.

-Pack sunglasses, I have a South African friend who after living in England for five years and came to visit and ended up squinting all the time with watery eyes because the sunlight we have here even in winter is far more that most of Europe sees in summer. (Remember this if you're into serious photography too, most of the time you won't need a flash or speedlight for daytime shots).

- Be adventurous, sample our local food franchises and restaurants. McD's might be Fifa's choice but we've got some pretty good local ones too. Like Nandos. (Who got ripped off by Fifa too and were forced to pull out of all our stadiums). After all, our fruit and vegetables are packed and shipped off to Europe daily, so it's not like you'd be eating anything too foreign.

- Tip generously, most of our food services staff depend on the tips they get because their wages are rock bottom. This holds for any services offered here. Car guards even at malls often wait until the wee hours of the morning looking after cars, so pay them well because they're waiting out in the cold, looking after your assets for you. After all, a couple of our Rands is next to nothing in Dollar, Pound and Euro terms.

- Buy a vuvuzela, buy a makarapa, and get yourself into the spirit of things here. Yes, we may have one of the lowest ranked football teams in the world, but we're still wearing their jerseys with pride.

-You may want to learn or appreciate the song Shosholoza. This song, which likens the team to working in sync like a steam train, features prominently at all South African sporting events. Even if it's not an SA game, you can bet that if there's South Africans in the crowd, there'll be a call to sing this. In a stadium set up, the song starts sounding more like this. Awesome, hey?!

-You may also want to learn how to diski dance.

-If you're buying stuff off the side of the road whilst driving, make sure you've got the right amount of money ready so there's no fumbling and fussing over change while traffic lights change.

- If you're Swiss or similar, our traffic lights go from green (go) to yellow (slow down to prepare for stop) to red (stop). Not the other way around.

-Our cities in Gauteng especially, might look like nearby dots on the map. You could be forgiven for thinking that with a 120km/h speed limit you'll get between cities in under 30 minutes given the distance. But you will not, so plan accordingly and allow for at least 2 hours worth of travelling time each way due to the extra traffic volumes. GPS units are easily available all over the show from the larger stores and cost around $100 or so.

-We're not afraid of Muslims in SA. I know of 4 malls with prayer facilities for Muslims in Gauteng and the airport is also equipped with a Jamaat Khana. Halaal food is easily available and halaal items are clearly indicated on other food stuff, even things which you thought there never was any question over the halaality thereof, we've just confirmed that it is.

- Try not to be condescending to locals. We're a sensitive bunch, we pick up on racism easily.

- Don't come here with your ignorant tendencies. Don't expect the vibe, atmosphere and noise levels to be anything like any other European soccer match. Our local league team games create scenes like this and this. It might look crazy to you, but there'll be lots of security and order and obviously not that much room for too much of movement for the latter video. If you're going for games to Bloemfontein in the Free State you're absolutely lucky cos those supporters there will give you a soccer stadium experience you'll never get elsewhere.

-Speaking of ignorance, if you come to SA and wonder if this song is our national anthem, you're forgiven, but it's not. Our anthem's Nkosi Sikele (God Bless Africa). This anthem combines the traditional version of the struggle song with the Apartheid anthem Die Stem and a new verse in English (SA's mostly widely spoken and understood language)rounds it all off. If you'd like to see the original version of Nkosi Sikele, just have a look at our entire (mostly white)World Champion rugby team singing the current version with such pride at being South African, and look at how far we've come. In this version, legendary SA musicians like Hugh Masakela and the late Miriam Makeba sing it (about the first 4 minutes of it) and you can see the despair and lack of hope in their faces. This was obviously shot at a time when so much as humming a bar of Nkosi Sikele could get you jail time in South Africa. As such it was sung widely overseas and maybe one day I will treat you to a post on how and why people like my parents still get tears in their eyes and force us to stand for the anthem, even if we're watching sport at home, because such a simple thing was not allowed in the old SA. Other "struggle kids" I know always joke about how this was the first lullaby we were taught and there's lots of truth in that.

- If you need help, ask. South Africans are more than willing to assist people, you'll find us very friendly and warm in general.

- If your gut feeling doesn't trust someone, go with it. There's lots of people who sell watches etc on the road, be wary of especially the "originals" on sale as these usually have some kind of dodgey background. If a place doesn't feel safe to you, move out of there and go somewhere where it does.

-South Africa's opened her heart out to hope and the promise of giving our guests the best possible time. Treat her with respect and keep your litter and throw it in a bin.

-Should you wish to go on a tour of the Gauteng region or if you'd like a tailored list of places you think would be of interest to you, please drop me an email (queenlestat [at] gmail [dot] com) as I am a registered tour guide and I'd be glad to assist you.

Welcome to our land, we hope you'll enjoy your stay and that you're met with many positive experiences throughout your stay that you'll take with you back home. I hope these tips will be of some use to you. I'll be editing and adding on as I think of more stuff, so check back every so often.

Good luck to your teams!

May the Force be with Bafana Bafana!
rah*

SpeakZA: Bloggers for a Free Press

2010-03-24T16:56:00.003+02:00

Last week, shocking revelations concerning the activities of the ANC Youth League spokesperson Nyiko Floyd Shivambu came to the fore. According to a letter published in various news outlets, a complaint was laid by 19 political journalists with the Secretary General of the ANC, against Shivambu. This complaint letter detailed attempts by Shivambu to leak a dossier to certain journalists, purporting to expose the money laundering practices of Dumisani Lubisi, a journalist at the City Press. The letter also detailed the intimidation that followed when these journalists refused to publish these revelations.

We condemn in the strongest possible terms the reprisals against journalists by Shivambu. His actions constitute a blatant attack on media freedom and a grave infringement on Constitutional rights. It is a disturbing step towards dictatorial rule in South Africa.

We call on the ANC and the ANC Youth League to distance themselves from the actions of Shivambu. The media have, time and again, been a vital democratic safeguard by exposing the actions of individuals who have abused their positions of power for personal and political gain.

The press have played a vital role in the liberation struggle, operating under difficult and often dangerous conditions to document some of the most crucial moments in the struggle against apartheid. It is therefore distressing to note that certain people within the ruling party are willing to maliciously target journalists by invading their privacy and threatening their colleagues in a bid to silence them in their legitimate work.

We also note the breathtaking hubris displayed by Shivambu and the ANC Youth League President Julius Malema in their response to the letter of complaint. Shivambu and Malema clearly have no respect for the media and the rights afforded to the media by the Constitution of South Africa. Such a response serves only to reinforce the position that the motive for leaking the so-called dossier was not a legitimate concern, but a insolent effort to intimidate and bully a journalist who had exposed embarrassing information about the Youth League President.

We urge the ANC as a whole to reaffirm its commitment to media freedom and other Constitutional rights we enjoy as a country.

Blog Roll

http://thoughtleader.co.za/siphohlongwane
http://rwrant.co.za
http://vocfm.co.za/blogs/munadia/
http://vocfm.co.za/blogs/shafiqmorton/
http://blogs.news24.com/needpoint
http://capetowngirl.co.za
http://thoughtleader.co.za/sentletsediakanyo
http://thoughtleader.co.za/davidjsmith
http://letterdash.com/one-eye-only
http://boyuninterrupted.blogspot.com
http://amandasevasti.com
http://blog.empyrean.co.za/
http://letterdash.com/brencro
http://6000.co.za
http://chrisroper.co.za
http://pieftw.com
http://hamishpillay.wordpress.com
http://memoirs4kimya.blogspot.com
http://thoughtleader.co.za/azadessa
http://watkykjy.co.za
http://fredhatman.co.za
http://thelifeanddeathchronicles.blogspot.com/
http://blogs.timeslive.co.za/common-dialogue/
http://www.clivesimpkins.blogs.com/
http://mashadutoit.wordpress.com
http://nicharalambous.com
http://sarocks.co.za
http://blogs.timeslive.co.za/stompies/
http://helenmoffett.book.co.za/blog/
http://01universe.blogspot.com
http://groundwork.worpress.com
http://iwrotethisforyou.me
http://fionasnyckers.book.co.za
http://attentiontodetail.wordpress.com
http://blogs.women24.com/editor
http://www.missmillib.blogspot.com
http://snowgoose.co.za
http://dreamfoundry.co.za
http://www.vanoodle.blogspot.com
http://www.exmi.co.za
http://cat-dubai.blogspot.com
http://alistairfairweather.com
http://www.zanedickens.com
http://www.nickhuntdavis.com
http://guysa.blogspot.com
http://book.co.za
http://baldy.co.za
http://skinnylaminx.com
http://blogs.african-writing.com/zukiswa
http://www.mielie.wordpress.com
http://blogs.timeslive.co.za/gatherer/
http://thoughtleader.co.za/sarahbritten
http://stii.co.za
http://blogs.news24.com/FSB_AP
http://twistedkoeksuster.blogspot.com
http://whensmokegetsinyoureyes.blogspot.com/
http://trinklebean.wordpress.com
http://commentry.wordpress.com/
http://matthewbuckland.com
http://blogs.news24.com/colour-me-fran
http://gormendizer.co.za
http://helenmoffett.book.co.za/blog/
http://www.harassedmom.co.za
http://ravingfans.co.za
http://khadijapatel.co.za
http://simon.co.za/speakza
http://gnatj.com
http://moralfibre.co.za
http://www.exmi.co.za
http://www.edgeofwhere.blogspot.com/
http://www.rahsrantsravesandquirks.blogspot.com/

On Unemployment

2010-02-15T12:23:00.007+02:00

Everyone who's anyone jumped on the straaagull bandwagon 20 years ago when Mandela was released, the ones with integrity did not.

It takes a freelancer like me loads of creativity and marketing and the absolute best service to continue to eke out a living through the myriad of side things which I do in my multi-talented, lightning fast way. However, I must say that it is not due to my lack of trying that I find myself without permanent employ. I really love this country enough to want to pay tax. But there is only so many "Dear X we regret to inform you that you do not meet the minimum requirements as outlined in our labour equity policies..." that one can read without wanting to pull out your suitcases, pack up and find some other country willing to take your skills and talent.(Hint Hint: Writer/Editor/Translator/Language Tutor/Photographer for sale!!!)

Anyway, here's the question. I wonder if I would get a job if I listed struggle veteran's kid on application forms and my cv? Would companies feel obliged to pay me big bucks? Would that give me the right to be completely inefficient and feel like the company owes me (ala a certain CEO who thinks he's worth an estimated R85 million for doing nothing more than bungling), even though I scarcely lived through a decade of state sanctioned Apartheid? I don't feel entitled to anything, but I do think that if I played that card I might get a lot further career wise.

Forgive me for having the mother of all consciences, but I think that it would be unfair if I did play the straagull card. After all, it wasn't me putting my life on the line for a country that so obviously doesn't appreciate it. I really don't know how people can feel like they are justified in taking and applying for jobs they're hopelessly ill equipped to deal with.

The more I think about these levels of entitlement, especially in the upper echelons it brings to mind some of the more sinister topics covered in Political Science 101: Shadow State Activity.(Over simplification of theoretical concepts to follow:) I doubt we have a shadow economy, because unlike a lot of African states we're not really buying basic necessities on the black market. But just take a moment to think about the politicking and the manoeuvring and the machinations that go on with creating the networks run by the Motsepes and the like. That's big, big money that the people on the ground never see, but the government officials; their cronies, para-statals and front companies sitting on boards all over the show; seem to see plenty of.

As for me, I'll soldier on and continue feeling guilty about being a non-tax paying citizen.(Please feel free to want to change that if you need a full time editor/writer. See previous ingratiation for a few more of my talents ;)) Shakespeare was right, there always will be something a rotten in the state of...

Back to the grindstone,
rah*

Said Sadly**

2010-01-28T16:01:00.005+02:00

Bill died.

May he find the peace his body wouldn't give him. May his family and loved ones continue to feel blessed for having his strength as an example to guide them.

Death is only the beginning,
rah*

**Smashing Pumpkins, vocals James Iha and Nina Gordon

On Blogging Anniversaries

2009-11-30T17:35:00.007+02:00

I've been a blogger for four years. Who'd've thunk it considering how lax I am about it? I've decided it's time to maybe unveil myself a bit.

Here goes:

[Image source]

I suppose I should lay off the partying and stuff eh?! Identity theft is becoming more and more common these days. I'd probably win awards for most alternative costume at Grab-a-Granny nights.

I heart teh_interwebz,
rah*

P.S. Moral of the story: never believe anything The Organharvester says. LOL!

Ignorance Kills**

2009-11-25T23:40:00.009+02:00

I met a wonderful man this past weekend.

Well not, met met. I came across his blog at LiveJournal. And connected to him through his words.

Bill writes in the most extraordinary way, his deviantArt gallery is scintillatingly beautiful to read.

Bill is also dying.

(as are we all).

Bill has brain cancer and Aids.

Oh boy, aren't you happyhappy you're a perfectly placed shiny, little button on Tannie's superbly tailored, crimpolene rokkie*** now?

Bill doesn't ask anyone for sympathy and words are his therapy. Bill also seems to be ecstatically happy with the love of his life, his boyfriend Brody. Yes, Bill's gay, get over it.

And that's where things get complicated. I've been raving on and on about this guy's writing, but why is it that people cannot see beyond the gayness? Why is it that they can only accept that his writing is worthy of merit when I say that between his double whammy of illnesses he managed to punt the Gaza cause, which is an issue close the hearts of most of the people I've spoken about Bill to? Is the fact that he can care about one of "ours" the only reason he is worth his weight as a human being and in turn worthy of our prayers? That's just extreme selfishness and self absorption. Another sickening trend I've noticed is that people can have a so what attitude about his illnesses, as though he deserves it BECAUSE he is gay.

I cannot accept this. How many heterosexual people could handle the idea of having both Aids and brain cancer? Who are you to judge him as a human being based on his sexual orientation? Not only gay people get Aids, anyone and everyone can. Surely judging is God's realm? So what if his illnesses are his "punishment"? If Bill is gay, how does that diminish from his suffering? How convinced are you that you won't be punished, with all your self righteous flaming heterosexuality, on the other side?

The point of this post is: God is not the monopoly of a select few. There is only one God, and He belongs to everyone. This same one God created Muslims, Jews, Christians,Hindus, Agnostics, Wiccans (lulz, inside joke here for Lily), black people, white people, in between reticulant-ish coloured people, and accountants. He created us all, with the same amount of dedication, care and love.Who are we to deny showing love, care and compassion to others of God's creation too?

Read his posts about Brody, who in my opinion seems like an equally remarkable human being, he looks after Bill and now that Bill is really sick, blogs for him too. How many people can claim to have been loved to that extent, straight or gay or asexual? Lust aside, is the love that they share, not the same human love and affection that every person on earth desires?

I don't see why people find the need to judge other people when they have not one smidgeon of understanding of what a person must be going through. I'm not sure I want such judgemental people in my life and my world. I wish the blinkers were removed before they ran their race.

Millions of people will stand on Arafat and ask for forgiveness in a few hours. I hope someone's prayer for us to retrace our roots and return to our divinely ordained path as a people with educated, open minds who think before we blab, people who know that to judge is not what our religion teaches us, is answered.

We are not alone in this world, we are representatives of our religion, behaving like bigots only reinforces stereotypes of barbarism. And we know were saved from that.

Edna Ferber, author of So Big (read the book!...or watch the movie, with Bette Davis (I'm a major movie geek, TCM is quality viewing)) once famously said, "A closed mind is a dying mind." Think about that. Use the minds you've been given.

Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage.
rah*

**Alternative post title was Bill's to Pay.
*** rokkie= Afrikaans, diminutive form for dress, ie little dress.Tannie= Aunt

Twitter is Dajjal**...

2009-09-08T23:45:00.007+02:00

...it has one i and people follow it around.

(And all of Blog-ville guffaws collectively to multiple lines of LOL or some combination thereof)

Yes, I'm aware that that is lame, even by my awfully punny standards. But it's one of those half baked ideas sitting in my head for ages and ages now. I have several of them, which, time pending, I might gift you loyal few readers with.

But back to my original point. Since bloggers are to social media as gerbils are to Richard Gere,I thought I'd ask the relevant demographic if there really is any point signing up for Twitter?

Besides stalking Billy Corgan and telling him in 140 characters or less how he's destroyed key ontological and other philosophical ideas for me? Or finding Neil Gaiman and telling him what I thought of American Gods?

Is there any need for greater procrastination online, especially since my pet hate is reading ridiculously, inane status updates on Facebook. And yep, I'm one of those who have to stifle the urge to want to "fix" status updates, when the content doesn't fit in with the sentence structure beginning with the subject. I'm not sure if I do need help, fixing faulty sentences is my job. Literally.

Ah well, let me know. I'd like to see some of your arguments both for and against it.

Maybe I should experiment.Right...Errr...

Hmmm, so let's test this sign off to see if I can conclude this post in 140 characters to check just how elastically economical words really are.

What's the tally there? Eyeballing (from work experience) I'd say it's around 120 characters sans counting spaces because I'm not sure if Twitter counts spaces as characters or not.Including spaces it's probably closer to target? Perhaps one of you addicts can pop it in to Twitter and get something more substantiative than a guestimate.

The dearth of dormancy.It kills.
Ad herbetudo,
rah*

**Islamic/Arabic term for the AntiChrist.Regarded in popular culture as " the beast we call the Desolate One. ...The First of the Fallen. The Spoiler of Virgins, the Master of Abortions!"

(You may not confuse the ** with the single * next to my name, because whilst I may be regarded as postively wicked in some circles, I too realise that there are some powers out there superlative to my own :P)

Immutable

2009-08-12T23:42:00.008+02:00

Expression is wasted sometimes. I want this:

The Smashing Pumpkins- Stand Inside Your Love

Comments may be sent to me privately via teh_interwebz queenLestat[at]gmail[dawt].com should you feel the need.I will respond.Promise :P

"Recast as child and mystic sage",
rah*

Why Internet Access Should Be Limited Reason #395857

2009-08-10T14:40:00.007+02:00

It's no secret that some of my favourite music comes from the period best described as the Grunge Years. However, when OH and I start having random conversations it is usually a good idea to have an empty bladder. Whilst we relive a never ending supply of cringe-worthy tunes, I thought it a good idea to think of a list of my personal worst songs. Yes, this includes the OST for Titanic.

In the process I found this**:

Spot the irony?

I will never understand what goes on in some people's heads.

Epic fails are always noted,
rah*

**Click to enlarge

Smacks of Wisdom

2009-08-03T14:29:00.003+02:00

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."
Kurt Cobain

Wasn't Boy George a Hare Krishna Devotee Too? Although, he gives a whole new meaning to "Bow Down Mister"..oh soz, actual post is below:

2009-07-27T16:45:00.010+02:00

Am I the only person who wondered why this got to the front page of the Sunday paper? Or why the section of the paper targeted at an Indian demographic has such utter inane rubbish in it? Do people actually find this newsworthy enough to make it to the papers. Also, why does the Sunday Times Extra seem to revel in articles about people bringing on some kinda "embarrassment" to the religious groups they're affiliated with? Here's a ctrl+c, ctrl +v of the entire episode.

Rumpus over sex emails
Taschica Pillay

Hare Krishna devotee sorry for false claims
A Hare Krishna devotee claims he disseminated an e-mail containing salacious details of an alleged adulterous affair between himself and a fellow devotee as an act of “vengeance”.

The man, whose identity is known to the Sunday Times Extra, recently distributed a revealing e-mail entitled “Warning to Durban guys” containing details of an alleged affair between himself and a Phoenix mother of three who, he claimed, pleasured him like a “Bangkok prostitute”. He also attached a picture of the woman.

He claimed he sent the e-mail to warn other men about the woman and her wiles. After realising that his e-mail was being widely circulated, the man distributed another e-mail saying his claims in the original e-mail were untrue.

“I was angry and wanted vengeance on this lady,” he wrote in an e-mail he sent to the Sunday Times Extra and which is also being circulated.

“I fully and unreservedly take back what I said and apologise for the embarrassment I caused. I have apologised to her and she has accepted.

“She is actually a good person. I am the bad one,” he said.

In the original e-mail, he claimed he and the woman became friends after meeting at a shopping mall.

“She was pretty and seemed pleasant enough. Since I was trying to uplift myself spiritually, I thought it was nice to meet a like-minded individual.”

The pair then met at a shopping mall a few times and their relationship allegedly developed into a sexual one. He said he “reluctantly” slept with the woman a few times but should have known “something was not right when she kept insisting on doing it in hotel rooms and in the back of her car”.

“But being a man, I was too excited and infatuated with her that I lost all good sense,” he added.

He said he was devastated when the woman told him she was married.

The woman, who runs her own business, this week hit back in her own e-mail, dismissing the allegations as “utter rubbish”. “I was going to be the better person and not respond to this, but it is destroying the dignified reputation I once had.”

The woman, who said she was a happily married mother of three, said the man approached her at the temple for a job after he saw her company’s name on her car. A few hours after giving him her business card, the man called her at home asking if he could drop off his CV at her office the next day.

She then employed the man as a general worker.

“One morning he confided in me, saying he had feelings for another guy and he didn’t feel attracted to women.

“He wanted to test his hormones and wanted me to kiss him to see if he felt anything. But obviously I declined as it sounded fishy to me.”

She said that two weeks later “ he confronted me again, started getting personal and saying he has fallen in love with me, and that I should have fun with him”.

The woman said she was shocked by his advances and told him to concentrate on his personal life, rather than a relationship between them.

She said she did not tell her husband, a taxi owner, the “real story” for fear that he would become violent.
Champakalata Dasi, International Society of Krishna Consciousness (Iskcon) spokesman, said that the spiritual organisation “did not associate ourselves with an e-mail of such a derogatory nature.”

This guy sounds like a complete imbecile. The woman too. To the desperate demographic of my readership, perhaps if you'd also like to be "pleasured" by a "Bangkok prostitute" (totally LOLs name for a place which has a reputation for flesh pedlars btw), maybe your new pick up line can be "Hi, I'm gay, kiss me so I can test my hormones"? (Or a reasonable adaptation thereof?)

Seriously though, what planet do people like this come from??

-facepalm-
rah*

While it's still newsworthy

2009-06-30T20:18:00.004+02:00

I know this whack job of a person. For years she's been blaming the decline of society on the fact that Muslim youth "follow" "Shaytaans" like Michael Jackson who is the very symbol of all that is wrong with the world.

I usually want to point out, when she's on one of these tangents, that he's not been that popular music wise for a good few years, but qL holds her peace and lets the woman rant. (Needless to say, that for the said person Bollywood is considered as relatively less decadent and immoral than mainstream Western pop because clearly the logic that that's based on is very sound reasoning somehow...)

On his death she says: "Shame, mashaAllah, must've been a good man, he got to go on Jummeraat..."

qL just goes -_- *facepalm*

Talk about hypocrisy eh?

I had a whole lot of quips I was coming up with while there were still unconfirmed reports of the death of MJ. Things like (to the tune of Billie Jean) Michael Jackson is NOT A-LIVE, (to the tune of Black or White) It don't matter if you're dead or alive....yeah it was nearly 1 am, I was freezing after the confeds cup semis with Bafana vs Brazil and stuck in traffic...lameness was to be expected.

I see blaaaaahnians,
rah*

Of Grammatology**

2009-06-10T13:49:00.006+02:00

For a long while now I've been wanting to do a series of posts on language usage.

While I sit about and try to make space for all the cows (I thought the first rule about this was do not link the OH, but seems like everyone's done it already.This linkage should free up about two steaks for someone else now. I'm magnanimous like that :P), I've got an issue once again with language and English.

Learn from this, see how it works, ask me if you don't get it and I shall re-explain gladly (all confidentiality held). It's not about being a pretentious language buff, it's all about helping people who seem to have no end to embarassing themselves with these basic errors. And yes, getting these grammar rules correct are requirements on the Jedi list (being the precautionary measures set in place, which should be satisfactorily checked off, before one can consider long term bovine investments).

Please do accept this paltry offering in the spirit that it was intended and so that you may de-idiot before typing up things. This is something which works on my nerves, not only because I'm a grammar nazi by profession, but also because I remember learning this in Standard 1 or 2/Grade 3 or 4 (all credits dude to Apartheid's House of Delegates owned thorough-bugger teachers) and I think that it's easy enough to understand and apply. It's quite a shame when otherwise intelligent human beings screw up their text with some of these errors. Errors which are made mostly due to not understanding the basic premise of word classes.

In English, as in all languages, there are word classes. This means that certain words function as a particular type of word or within a particular context.

There's three types of word classes which seem to confuse the hell out of the lesser mortals of the realm.

Prepositions, pronouns, and contractions.

Prepositions: Split the word into two pre -position, before a position, it denotes a place, a position. It is not to be confused with a pronoun. Examples include; Here, there, above, below, inside, outside, underneath. (PLACES)

Pronouns: Split it into two as well and nouns are people, places, things, tangible stuff unless it's an abstract noun. Examples include; his, her, them, their, our. (PEOPLE)

Thus, there is not the same as their. There shows place, their shows ownership.

Conractions are words which are joined and shortened by an apostrophe (an apostrophe which does not show possession). Consider the sentence: Here's his book, he's going to need it. (WORD(USUALLY PREPOSITION OR PRONOUN)+(USUALLY)AUXILLIARY VERB)

He's is a contraction for he is or he has. It's not the same as his which is a pronoun. Common errors include: "his mad" instead of he's mad.

Are we all clear on this one?

Next up: Concorde, Plurals and Apostrophe.

Class dismissed!
rah*
**Bonus points to the reference catcher.

Umm, yeah...

2009-03-11T20:21:00.004+02:00

So the last time I had one these moments it was over a multimedia pack of book, dvd and cd called Baby Shakespeare (somewhere back in 2006/7). You can pretty much figure out the contents I would've purchased had I had the need. I had no need, therefore I had a day or two of OMGMOMMYHOODSEEMSFTW!

At some crazy hour early this morning/late last night I had this brainwave of an idea which I wanted to do for some of the lil hobbits in my life, and I Googled in preparation for the task ahead.And then I found it, the idea in my head existed -_-, so much for originality, eh?. But it did save me some bother of finding tabs/notes to attempt my own renditions.

How awesome is this? Or any of these for that matter? Good musical taste cannot start young enough. Someday my kids'll have a blog and write stuff like "my mom was so awesomely cool, we had Smashing Pumpkins/NIN/The Cure/The Pixies/Nirvana as our lullabies"!

I am not crazy though, I've not purchased any of them yet. I've just wishlisted them all :D

Hold meeeee, for goodbyes and whispered lullabyes...
rah*

Brace Yourselves

2009-03-06T15:26:00.007+02:00

It seems as though I've weaned myself off the glorious medicinal haze induced by Mybulin cocktails, but who said drugs weren't a fruitful means to inspiration.

To clarify, picture the setting. An errant wisdom tooth, a slightly misaligned jaw bone, a nerve being compressed, random flashes of deafness and blindness. And then you find yourself in the orthodontist's chair discussing orthognathic surgery. A week later you find yourself in braces to stabilise your teeth and to keep them in place while your jaw is being shifted around and you experiencing the most excruciating pain you've ever known.

You look like Betty Suarez and feel like Angel Face after his round with Tyler. All this while your jaws are also uncomfortably suspended by dental cement.The cement keeps your teeth apart but hey, who needs to chew for 8 weeks when there's a million ways to eat and reinvent custard, jelly and mashed potatoes?

Anyway, like Dylan Thomas, I do have coherent moments between my drugged out fogs. One of which was staring me in the face all along.

Mr Zuma's legal woes are not over yet. The concept of stepping down because your integrity and ethical quality is tainted obviously does not apply in South Africa. And think of the legal costs of these battles of his. Fighting to get yourself into court, then fighting to get yourself out of court and then the whole appeal process as well.

Election posters proudly display our new ethically tainted (but that's okay because apparently, "we don't want sophistication" as South Africans) president in waiting Bra Jakes. The man is quite charismatic when you see him perform on stage, I'll give him that much credit, but he looks kinda slimy in the election posters. There's something about him that reminds me of Mr Toad of Toad Hall. For a lack of a better picture of the election posters here's a bit of a taste:

Now this got me thinking, imagine in addition to his legal fees, what would his dental fees be like? I suspect (based on the pictures on the posters) that he's got a bit of an open bite/cross bite and would probably be regarded in orthodontics as a Class II/III Malocclusion. I would assume the total cost of his orthodontic work would total another R30 000+. Blaaaaah.

JZ's over 60 so orthodontic support might not be the best option for him because of decreased bone density and teeth strength. The only other option would be porcelain or ceramic crowns and veneers (like those on 10 Years Younger and Extreme Makeover) to fix the gaps cost easily upward of R1600 per tooth! Most cosmetic dentists would prefer doing each tooth so as to create a more natural look and a more even smile. And at 32 teeth per human we're looking at (with the usual cost of labourlabourlabour)a minimum of R51200!

I'm no accountant but I have a feeling, our president's going to be a financial burden on us. Oh but wait, Sheikh's out, he can now go to the dentist, orthodontist,prostodontist, send his wives and kids for hair cuts and have his cars washed too.

On the plus side however, Julius Maleblaaaaah's got perfect teeth. All hail Caesar?!

Right now I'm sure JZ's reading this and thinking:

yours queen_Lestat, _|_ yours...

Glad I could provide such enlightening information and be of use to you all,
rah*

Happy '09

2009-01-06T17:05:00.005+02:00

I hate New Year Resolutions, which I make up as I go along and by June I am still compiling them. But one that I will try to do something about this year is this blog.

I purposely missed its birthday this/last year, not for a lack of love but for a total overdose of whatever-ness. This blog started off as a completely anonymous and below the radar room for my ramblings and in many ways still is. Whilst I did not have as much time as I would've liked to spend on it, I have had a good run from it and I do occasionally feel compelled to throw out my two-cents to the universe. (Which occasionally results in the universe sending out imbecilic halfwits to throw their two-cents back into my inbox lol.)

I do think that it's time for a re-vamp (no pun intended)of this screen,but I do not have time to read many blogs or comment and I have been told by blog-addicts that I am linked on various other blogs and I should return favours and such. I do have a link list on the side, if you wish to be added, removed or url changed please drop me a line and fill me in on the relevants. And if anyone's died while I wasn't taking notice and is no longer around, let me know about that too please, kthanxbye.

2008 proved to be an interesting year, some good, some bad, lots of sad. Perspective is: losing an uncle and becoming an aunt in the same week. Life changes, life grows, life dies. We all learned, we all changed.

However, the most OMGAWESTRUCKGAWDWHATDOIDONOW moment of 2008 was when yours truly received this in the post:

(some strategic Paint-jobby editing to protect the innocent, anonymous and inboxes)

(If you ever wanted to know why I take ages to reply to some emails...there's your answer too...)

I have the neatest handwriting writing ever on screen. you should see it on paper lol.

Here's wishing everyone, all that is good for them for 09.

Happy Happy :)

rah*

I knowIknow I know I said

2008-12-15T22:20:00.003+02:00

I'd give you a running commentary on the history and formation of the PAC the last time I was here. But you can wiki that for yourself. I have a somewhat more pressing matter than an almost defunct political party to discuss.

Recent weeks have seen me being forced to participate in my most hated activity. Shopping.

I had this discussion with the delightful Prixie the other day too. Am I the only one who does NOT want to relive 80s fashion? Am I the only one who has enough taste and good sense not to want to wear a hot pink, bridal satin bubble skirt? And skinny jeans ('nuff said? And those crinkle tops that looks like something is has shrivelled up on you? And plastic shoes? Let me not even get started on the cap and puff sleeve phenomena. Just because Anne of Green Gables spent half her childhood crying for them, does not mean we all want to wear it.

Somewhere in the 90s I read that the 80s will be remembered as a decade devoid of taste and style. Why revive it? Most of the people who have embraced the 80s look are those too young to have remembered the atrocities of it, and they think the mini party dress ala Kylie Minogue in the "Ishouldbesoluckyluckylucky" video is "kewt" and "kewl".

I really dunno about all of you out there, but I cannot find anything remotely near wearable in any store. I don't like the shimmery and shiny stuff and I don't do the big bold prints either. Another problem I find in SA is that all the stores seem to stock the same kinda stuff. So in essence, everyone dresses the same. You can look at a person walking into a room and think "Edgars", "Woolies", "Truworths" because the stock is so rotated and even the prints are available in most chain stores, maybe just with a different style design.

This recent battle to find stuff worth buying, has made me consider something I haven't done in a while (and the thought scares me), do I pull out my machine and start stitching up my own creations? Or am I missing the point of the revival thingy somewhere along the line?

On the plus side though, after the horror of the 80s- came the 90s :)

Have a happy 2008 folks
rah*

Dickens had it down;

2008-10-11T16:42:00.004+02:00

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

(And this is where I make my apologies, because 1) I'm too lazy to go find my copy of A Tale of Two Cities and 2)I've got too many things running to Google, therefore please accept my apologies if the quote's a bit ad libbed)

I was thinking this quote sums up our current political clime quite succinctly. Our teenage years are proving to be quite challenging, but I still have hope that sense will prevail after this weekend. Lekota is no fool, and he probably has big business behind him all the way. In fact he might've been a candidate for the presidential race in Polokwane last year, but that Stellenbosch winery incident might not've worked in his favour. It is because of him that government put in place that declare all business interests clause into place, however that rule obviously does not extend to the Zuma and Malema camp, because they just use politics to get ahead of the law.

What many people don't seem to realise is that the last time there was this much internal strife and politics within the ANC, the PAC was birthed. The PAC was a credible political organisation for many years before the ANC became the "brand" of liberation rhetoric.Granted though, the PAC did have a more militant angle, however it was with utter shockhorrorawe that I was reminded of their history, when Pheko went up to congratulate our new president on his nomination and asked for the release of former APLA cadres still rotting away in SA jails. Next post, I think I'll treat whoever reads this to a summative history of the formation of the PAC and few interesting political tidbits like the Sobukwe Clause.

I find this utterly appalling, regardless of their political divisions and ideologies, MK and APLA were quite the same bunch of revolutionaries and fought for exactly the same things. Why are they still in jail? The TRC denied APLA amnesty on the grounds that the PAC would not release their real names and was submitting code names. The TRC was also running at a very delicate time in the restructuring of our judicial bases and so the PAC had a reason to withold names because how would they know how much their actions and intelligence might have been compromised. And now the ANC conveniently declares that the PAC forgot to fill in the presidential pardon forms. What I find strange is how any party would do that and not get their members out? Pheko made it quite clear that he hopes Motlanthe would take action on the matter and get them out.

But shame, the PAC's internal squabbles have all but annihilated them, and then the final straw was when we had one of our ridiculous floor crossing debacles and Patricia de Lille walked away with their seat, and formed her own party. Essentially giving a party who no one had ever voted for, a party with no real policy ideology (besides being opposed to the ANC), and a party wholly spun around the personality of that firebrand De Lille. In fact the PAC degenerated to such a state that when given their 2 or 3 minutes of tv canvassing time, they announced that we should "not vote for them this election, they'll be ready for the next one". That is political meh-ness of note. However, we should not forget that parties who had a strong following in the liberation years still exist the PAC is still alive, as is AZAPO, UDM and SOPA. Many of these parties still have their old guard intellectual members, whereas the ANC has moved from the intellectuals to the MK lot and the sort who find Malema non-offensive.

Should Lekota form his own party, and hypothetically take away 20% of the current ANC fan base, they'd still be left with a 40% (of the current 60% majority they hold). The largest opposition party is that bag of whingers (the DA) and they have what? 12% of a stake? In countries like the US and the UK the power balance shifts between 2 parties at about roughly 48-52% of a swing vote with the minor parties raking in a few points here and there. I do not think the policy practices of a two party state are healthy or very democratic, but in South Africa, we're new to this voting business and we should turn out at the polls en masse and have a right to vote for any party we choose. My problem is, with a 60% majority and the next biggest party holding 12% to form the opposition- what kind of democracy do we have?

Another lol, yet worrisome thing is that at the voting after the nominations were given, 40 out of 400 ballot sheets were spoilt. HOW?! There were two names on the list, how can you not tick or cross between the lines properly? And you're in parliament, in charge of all of us and you have no efficiency in even ticking or crossing according to instructions?

Interesting times we live in, and someday when they make the movie of the Fall of Thabo and the Rise of Zuma, I am almost certain this is going to be on the OST.

Coldplay- Viva la Vida. Think about this one.

Enjoy!
rah*

PS For the bandwidth challenged , see if you find this song as applicable to our situation as I do :)

Opportunism Is:

2008-09-25T16:22:00.003+02:00

South African Cabinet Ministers.

Cabinet is appointed by a president. S/He appoints ministers to various portfolios, these are not guaranteed or elected by public posts.

Ministers with a spine, tendered their resignation not really in solidarity with Oom Thabo, but rather because their "contract" is effectively over with the exit of a president. Gripe of the post: Ministers of the like of Manto Tshabalala Msimang.

This woman, enjoys the dubious honour of widespread unpopularity.However, despite her garlic-lemon-olive oil brand of treatment of terminally ill patients, she enjoyed a free reign and total support from Oom Thabo. Some quarters even go so far as considering his support and loyalty to her part of his demise. However, at crunch time, when the President is "recalled", does she hand in her resignation? No.

Being a Minister is not a right, it's a privileged office which is supposed to allow you to put your skills at work for the betterment of the people. Evidently for Ministers such as Dr Beetroot, putting your own position of power, your pension is far more important than having a spine or showing some loyalty to the man who put his career in jeopardy for you to continue running amok. This critique doesn't only apply to her, but to all of those who kept their cushy jobs despite the fact that they might not be deployed back to cabinet under Motlanthe. Shakespeare needs to be paraphrased at times like this, something is very much rotten in the State of South Africa. It is precisely this kind of complacent behaviour which has filtered down from the top that has resulted in our all round poor service delivery for us plebs at the bottom of the gravy train.

In other news, I was utterly appalled to be faced with the shocking reminder of APLA cadres still incarcerated (more on that in another post). This was quite strange, because I was thinking about them over the weekend as I ran through my voting options.

Right, now I await the list of who will serve under Motlanthe, whom I hope will begin work as though he is a proper president and not merely a stop over. Congratulations Mr President. I hope your wisdom, diplomacy and work ethic supercedes your ambition.

So help us God,
rah*

Armchair Politics

2008-09-23T22:28:00.009+02:00

My 8 year old of the next generation, somewhat displaced and extended holder of shared genetic-material found an errant abaya the other day and wore it; at first pretending she was a judge by sitting at the dining room table and pointing fingers at everyone and handing out sentences. Then she decided to be a part of some imaginary graduation ceremony and the abaya became her academic gown. Needless to say these non-fun situations soon passed and she found much more entertainment pretending to be Count Dracula (I did mention she was related to me, didn't I?) and then running up and down the passage singing the Darkwing Duck theme song with her "cape" flying behind her.She was warned about the dangers of being irresponsible and reckless. Yes, she did trip and fall and get hurt. And went back to being a Judge.

She is 8, she stopped and understood the meaning of reckless behaviour. Apparently it is quite a difficult concept to grasp. My gripe for the post: Julius Malema.

Not only is he well over 8 years old, but I find it very hard to believe how this uneducated moron can be considered "youth". Fikile whatshisface was about 45 and president of the Youth League, but hell, when did a few decades make any difference to semantics. I would venture to suggest that perhaps the immaturity of his statements qualifies him as Nduna of the masses. Statements along the lines of killing for Zuma (and then wondering how anyone else could possibly find his statement offensive?), let us not forget the latest one of how the media should stop focussing on the arms deal now, because in his esteemed opinion "it's old news and it's gone boring now".Need I point out that it was PRECISELY The Arms Deal which got us into our current predicament anyway? Does no one ever LISTEN to the utter rubbish that comes out of his mouth?

I find the hypocrisy way too blatant. This big mouthed, small brained, skivvy has proven to us that the ANC cannot rein him in (as Mr Harvester has pointed out). But that is besides the point, his antics at the ANCYL elections did more to publicise his ineptitude as a leader than his statements ever will.

This is the man who demands JZ is president, for the sake of the "poor". However, at tax payers expense him and his cronies have what seemed like a drunken brawl and threw around beverages such as R8/ 500ml bottled water? All in the name of the poor in SA, some of whom in the rural areas do not have taps or running water. But yes, that total waste of tax payers money was not enough. No sir. ANCYL top brass, probably including this fuckwit, needed to drop their trousers in protest over some policy or the other and give journalists present a shot of their nekkid butts. Which as some of you might recall, made front page of The Times the next day.

If that is the type of shamless behaviour he condones and considers appropriate on winning an election, then I think I speak for all of us when I say that this dude might just be the undoing of SA. It was the Marquis de Sade who said, "One is never so dangerous when one has no shame, than when one has grown too old to blush". And that is exactly the mentality of the ANCYL leadership headed by this "counter revolutionary" character. I agree with The Organharvester, regardless of what Thabo's done or how aloof or arrogant he is or was, this jackass has no right to humiliate him and should have a basic sense of respect for the man.

Trying times for SA indeed, but this has been perhaps the most fascinating political week since 1994. And I'll be damned if I let Malema (split that into it's Latin and Greek components and you get Mal or Male- wrong, evil, bad (Latin) such as that in Malleus Maleficarum, Ema or Eme is from the Greek meaning to vomit, I think the word emit probably takes its root from here...Shall we play spot the irony?) have his say without throwing in mine.

Aaaah bleh, I'm out of time now. When I return, more on the Ministers and their resignations and Motlanthe.

BRB (I mean it this time)
rah*

It's getting hot in here...

2008-08-12T11:45:00.008+02:00

You know, there's those people who find it "kewt" to type "kewl" and replace -r's and -l's with w's eg "sowwy" and "hewwo". Now this is just ghei firstly, and secondly, when grown adults do this it works on my nerves (my magnanimous streak does however extend only to people who are around the age of 12-16 who do this because alas, they were not fully alive while the world and the internet was still awesome and not filled with twits), and thirdly, there is absolutely nothing more off putting than (consciously) horrific spelling and grammar.

I got this in an email from a person who brims with awesomeness and smells like teen spirit :P, with the most apt subject line ever (see below):

If you laugh, you're going to hell:

Suffice to say (before you get your panties in a knot and go all moral high ground on me)...I guess you can all queue up behind me?
rah*

Once Upon a Time

2008-07-28T16:41:00.005+02:00

A young queen_Lestat woke up to a very rainy, as is tradition, 7th Birthday. The dashing prince Kurt Cobain was still alive in those days, much to the delight of many. However, as qL opened her eyes, she noticed a little package on the side of her pillow. Suddenly, it dawned upon her that it was her birthday and that this was not a dream.

qL smiled with glee as she opened the package to find a box set of the most beautiful looking books she had ever seen. And she had seen a lot of books by that age already. The books soon came to be her favourites, because it was still a good three years before the Royal Family of Weird and the Defenders of Against the Onslaught of the Blaaaaahnians, were to present her with the treasured family heirloom, also known as The Lord of the Rings box set. The books she was presented with on this fateful day was none other than the complete works of a certain Beatrix Potter.

Beatrix Potter revolutionised the concept of children's books and literature, was a keen business woman and an independent individual who fought against every possible form of social barriers to make a name for herself as one of the most influential writers of her age.She contributed to hundreds of children reading books, by making her books child friendly, self illustrated and non threatening/intimidating to children.

Happy Birthday Beatrix Potter (28 July 1866-1943), wherever you may be, from every single child* who found joy and comfort in Peter Rabbit, Flopsy, Mopsy, Cotton-tail, Squirrel Nutkin, Jemima Duck, and Little Pig Robinson.

*rah

To whoever gets that sign-off : ;)

[rant] Blaaaaah Blaaaaah [/rant]

2008-06-30T20:11:00.004+02:00

Apparently, the human spirit possesses a capacity to withhold much under extreme duress. How often do people wonder what their inner tensile strength is? Or do people sit about like the Talamasca and watch and wait and are always there waiting for impending doom? So that they can cash in their bonus points for vouchers on the pre-prayed system when they've accumulated enough?

There's got to be nothing more irritating than religious zealots who believe they have a God ordained moral right to pontificate purely because of they claim they're in the possession of the title deeds for the monopoly on Truth. But whilst they spend a lot of their time in physical prayer, their minds are busy praying to the Great God of Materialism. Not only do these people meet the basic minimum requirement in the prayer stats but they surpass it with adding all the optional extra ones. And they let you know it as well.

Strange thing is, these people cannot understand why they're classified as resolutely Blaaaaahnian by yours truly. But I, and most people with a conscience I suppose, find it extremely offensive when the aforementioned types pay their staff minimum wages, or less. Work them to the bone as well, declaring that they need to get their money's worth out. I find it offensive as well when staff complain about their pay that they get told to pray. Prayer's one thing, inflation and reality quite another. If you can buy your daughter a Mini Cooper S as a birthday present, then please don't preach the value and importance of living a simple life.

Hypocrisy rears it's ugly head all the time. I cannot reconcile the social hypocrisy of being the height of piety to the world, but callously oppressing any underlings and not having any qualms about. If piety means anything, be a decent human being without the religious fluff attached. Attempting to be decent will at least add a bit of practice to the preaching.

The Blogosphere 'conspiracists' are probably wondering what inspired this post.Well, lots of things have, but I think the most relevant to these parts is that while I've been AWOL, I have been receiving odd bits of "soul-saving" advice from the Association of Anonymous twits. And no, I will not renounce my Satinic (sic) ways. Bitches.

I'm back with a vengeance baby.Next post in two months :P
rah*

Oh, Sweet Irony I Do Love Thee So:

2008-05-19T21:43:00.003+02:00

This is really old news. It's one of those I was meaning to... however, if, but, andthenthewindowbroke- type of posts. So I'm not sure if anyone else has played Spot The Irony with this news piece yet or not.

But really, come on now!

You can you have a rapist being convicted of rape anywhere else in the world, but only in South Africa will his name be- Innocent Khumalo.

Ladies and Gentlemen (not forgetting our retard in the back), I thank you all for your time and wish you a pleasant and safe journey home.

They do it to themselves I tell ye, walk right into a guest appearance on The Chronicles.
rah*

Stop The Presses!!!!

2008-05-12T23:01:00.010+02:00

A very dear friend(who under normal circumstances cannot be taken too seriously) gives me the following piece of news:

Legend: AAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAA Radio Religious news just now AHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA they just said AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAA Shaytaan is having a conference for his shayateen!!!!!!!

qL: LOLOLOLOLOL are you serious???

Legend: Yes.

qL: you sure it's not like "is in conference with"?

Legend: No that's what they said AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

qL: What kind of idiots believe that crap? And how and why is that newsworthy? LOLOLOL

Legend: I dunno, but AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

qL: LOLOL quickly gimme their number, I'm gonna phone in and say "Hello, I just heard about the conference and I just want to say that I have a stationary store, should they require any personalised paper pads, pens, etc I will be glad to contribute towards this endeavour at cost price!!"

Legend: I dare you!!!!

qL: What's their number?

Legend: I dunno :/

qL: -_-

So if anyone wants to attend this historic and momentous occasion, give me a shout. Maybe we can organise a lift club or something and go together?

Seating place is tight so please RSVP asap.
Degh Akni will be sold at a nominal cost.

I think the Daily Sun just became tantamount to Gospel compared to this.

Friggin' Blaaaaahnians.

rah*

Shaytaan = Satan
Shayateen= Satan's minions

Lighters for anyone?

2008-04-08T22:50:00.004+02:00

April 8 1994. The body of rock icon and the face which defined a generation was found dead. RIP Kurt Cobain. *Lights a lighter for a moment*. I have a knack for remembering dates oui? He actually died on the 4th or 5th April, but I had no time to pay my respects then. However, that wasn't really what this post was supposed to be on.

I've had this extract going in and around the revolving glass doors of my mind for a while now, and wanted to share it with whoever reads the stuff I pin up here.

"When people are happy they have a reserve, she had told Elizabeth, upon which to draw, whereas she was like a wheel without a tyre (she was fond of such metaphors), jolted by every pebble -- so she would say, staying on after the lesson, standing by the fire-place with her bag of books, her ‘satchel’, she called it, on a Tuesday morning, after the lesson was over. And she talked too about the war. After all, there were people who did not think the English invariably right. There were books. There were meetings. There were other points of view. Would Elizabeth like to come with her to So-and-so? (a most extraordinary-looking old man). Then Miss Kilman took her to some church in Kensington and they had tea with a clergyman. She had lent her books. Law, medicine, politics, all professions are open to women of your generation, said Miss Kilman. But for herself, her career was absolutely ruined, and was it her fault? Good gracious, said Elizabeth, no.

And her mother would come calling to say that a hamper had come from Bourton and would Miss Kilman like some flowers? To Miss Kilman she was always very, very nice, but Miss Kilman squashed the flowers all in a bunch, and hadn’t any small talk, and what interested Miss Kilman bored her mother, and Miss Kilman and she were terrible together; and Miss Kilman swelled and looked very plain, but Miss Kilman was frightfully clever. Elizabeth had never thought about the poor. They lived with everything they wanted, -- her mother had breakfast in bed every day; Lucy carried it up; and she liked old women because they were Duchesses, and being descended from some Lord."

Virginia Woolf in Mrs Dalloway

Mrs Dalloway was published in 1925 and is written in the stream of consciousness style of Virginia Woolf and the High Modernists. The story basically follows a day in the life of a Mrs Dalloway who is preparing to be hostess to the Prime Minister and centres around her thoughts as she goes about her daily chores and getting the house in order for the arrival of the Prime Minister. Mrs Dalloway also formed the basis of the storyline for the book and the movie The Hours.

This passage often makes me wonder, just how far has society and social consciousness come since 1925? Women still have their own opinions, and each age thinks that the women of their age have more rights than those of the age before? Do people think about the poor any more now than they did before? Or does it not matter as long as we have what we want? Are people expedient? Does caring for your fellow members of society only extend as far as what you can get out of them?

I still do maintain that Kurt Cobain was the Virginia Woolf of our generation, both gifted artists, both tortured and both with a keen misanthropic streak. After all, if you're not a Vampire or and Elve, you never will see what a despicable race the human tribe is.

I'm going off To the Lighthouse
rah*

Best Left in the 90s

2008-03-30T14:24:00.004+02:00

I know I harp on about music alot, it's one of my great passions in life. However, there's some music which just makes me want to hurl. For the moment, we'll excuse pop with the likes of girl/boy bands(consisting of 30 year old MEN, none of whom play any instruments-spot the irony if you will)and we'll excuse trance/house/blahblahblah( not really worth giving an opinion on this,because well I'm still deciding whether to classify it as music or whether it belongs in the category of noise.mp3). We will not even discuss Indian music or more specifically Bollywood rubbish (and no, I don't care how beautiful the lyrics are when you translate it into English, it (tune/melody/beat) sounds like crap/pop/regurgitated 70s disco beats to me).I won't venture to hip-hop either, which was once the sound of the streets and the poor and is now the sound of the rich who get off condescending at the poor. What I want to discuss is the most disgusting music ever- RnB.

While music history teaches one that it might've had very noble roots and gave hope to slaves and farm workers and was the American equivalent of Umshiniwam. Take a listen to the rubbish lyrics that they churn out which I would assume is supposed to be sexy...but it actually sounds like the musical version of 12 year old online cyberers who pretend they're 16 and spell without vowels. In other words, retards.Typical dialogue of the species goes something like this:

Kewt-boi "hi asl,i cn c u gt sxy nik,want 2 cybr" (rant: WHY CAN'T PEOPLE TYPE NORMALLY? IT TOOK ME LONGER TO TYPE THAT THAT THEN THE WHOLE PREVIOUS TWO LINES-/rant-another debate.

So anyway you get the picture. Poor lyrics, bad language, filthy images and general scummy values allow the fan-base masses to indulge their senses in a cheap-sex thrill.

While this might not exactly be RnB (or maybe it is, I'm outside of my genre here so I could be wrong) Ludakris at the 46664 Concert in Johannesburg last year belted out the following lyrics to a crowd of thousands "I won't stop til I get them in they birthday suits so give me the rhythm, and it will be off in they clothes" followed by "we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed". Please take note that the concert was in aid of Aids awareness. And here you have someone who sings about easy women, easy sex etc. Spot the irony? This is just an off the top of my head example of how music of this sort, just promotes bad values and demeans women, it might not necessarily be the best example. Sure, RnB fans might make the case against some shock rockers like Marilyn Manson and co, but to Manson's credit, when you dig beneath the surface of his lyrics, you often find a surprising bit of social commentary or unveiling of the standard hypocrisies.

I find RnB too "turn-off"ish for lack of a clearer phrase. Which gets me thinking, whether I'm missing out on something, after all the legions and legions of fans must be picking up on something I'm not. My neighbours are classic examples of this(wonderful people though, in every regard besides their music taste). Almost Sunday morning whilst washing their cars; (yeah, they've got American flag bandanas hanging off the rear-view mirror, and the uncle does have a pair of black Ray-Bans with the ivory and gold bridge bit over the nose); I am subjected to the Blaaaaahnians playing a cd(at full volume it seems)consisting of Boyz II Men's End of the road, followed by I'll make love to you, followed by In the Still of the Night. And then the aunty will shout out "OOO I like this song, don't make it slow, put fast volume" and then queen_Lestat groans and pulls her pillows over her ears and curls up into foetal position and shrinks deeper into her bed. I mean wtf? A little consideration for the grunger in your vicinity would be nice people!

Now here's a classic example of the crap that is RnB, and (as you shall hear in a bit) the song which inspired the post. I REFUSE to watch this video(and I won't name it either,so you're all forced to watch a few seconds to know what I'm on about! i R ev0ln355 :P), so I don't know if it's the original or what, but here goes:

DISGUSTING!!!! YERGH!

Anyway here's the story. While it might've been the hit of 1992/3, there was Nirvana to listen to as well at the time. There was also Snow's Informer (which proved why only one White Boy should rap per decade) and the cult classic Whitney (pre-crack revelations) Houston with I Will Always Love You (and iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-hee-iiiiiiiiiii, jis, the dramatic overkill in that song teh_lol) and UB40 was pretty big then too, and Meatloaf (well, Bat Out of Hell was on the charts for 9 years.True story and random bit of music trivia for you there).

Flash back to 2008 and you're coming back from a night out and stop at a petrol station, where about 15 guys (men) are listening to the song (at a volume that would make a jet engine seem mute) in the video above and dancing with one another in the most horrifically obscene way.Literally bump 'n grind. Quite revolting really, makes seeing the side of the road pee-ers (the members of the uri-Nation) seem tame-like. Not the ideal way to end a Saturday night. No Sir, not at all.

After that episode, I'm sufficiently traumatised to say,
"It's raining, it's raining, tears from my eyes..."
rah*

Worthy of Emo-ness or Not?

2008-03-21T21:46:00.006+02:00

All credits are due to cujo who managed to make me simultaneously want to gag and LOL. But in all seriousness, with my terminal geekiness I was more zOMG and sad than LOL at first. It took me a while to see the funny side of this.

So without further delay, ladies and gentlemen, I hereby present the horror of the week:

Now in case you don't see the horrific part, the bald guy is Walter Skinner (Mitch Pileggi) and the other guy is Alex Krycek (Nicholas Lea) and they're very cosily playing guitars together.

Still don't get it? Skinner's Mulder and Scully's boss and he tries to save them from the duplicios Krycek. And look at Skinner's feet language!! Positively yergggh man. Skinner and Krycek that's not a very attractive couple man :/.

Still don't get it? You really should update yourself on your X Files knowledge.

zOMG this is undefinable, this feeling, it's like warm and fuzzy (cos on the surface it's an awww pic) but at the same time there's this rising bile feeling. Does anyone know if there's a 12-step programme for Chronic Geeks?

The Truth is Out There,
rah*

Better than Toasters

2008-03-18T17:07:00.004+02:00

To the young paduwan yearning to be Yoda, and to the village carb addict.
I know that with at least one of the duo, this wedding present will be spot on, but what the hell :P
Hope you guys have many,many years to well...

Lots of love, luck and happiness,
rah*

I R teh_rememberz!!

2008-03-13T00:34:00.007+02:00

So yeah about that last post...

Well I remembered the arb thought I had before I wanted to post that thought and then forgot it and then posted on my forgetting instead.

A combination of an old Organ Harvester post (Note: old post in Organ Harvesterish is about 2 weeks or so ago)and the whole Irvin 'K'hoza debacle brought back the memory of the original thought I had. And so here it is.

A few weeks back I was flipping through channels because (yeah, I'll admit it) I was looking for Gilmore Girls reruns. (And not a word shall be uttered about this after this ever again.)(I happen to think that show has/had the best dialogue on tv.)(Excessive bracket use for no apparent reason is copyright and trademark blah blah blah to The Chronicles.)(Thought I'd shove my stylistic disclaimer in there, three years down the line.)

So back to my point, this advert comes up for this new show (dunno if it's new or old, my tv habits don't go much beyond Gilmore Girls and The X Files reruns when I'm really in the mood to watch a show, or the over dramatization and exaggerated acting styles of the mid-life-crisis-drop-out-of-work-and-take-up-night-school-acting-and
-drama-classes- students-who-find-bit-parts-portraying-historical-figures-for-
The-History-Channel-documentaries-but-acting-in-a-style-which-makes-me
-wonder-if-they-really-think-they're-in-a-major-cinematic-epic-thingy.)

The show portrays this mainly Black suburb/town in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and this town is plagued by crime, violence, corrupt cops, gangsterism, drugs etc on top of the burden of homelessness and displaced citizens. And the few good cops are struggling to make arrests and have safety and order because none of the locals will co-operate or provide information on the criminals in their midst. Now for my point.

I watched the advert and then when the name came up of the show immediately went all zOMG! And then told the nearest sibling "Damn, you know, you know you're South African when your first thought after seeing an advert for a show about a community/theme like that is "RASCISTS! How can they call a town where black people live that and still name a show that and then ADVERTISE on SOUTH AFRICAN TV...""

Yep, people, you guessed it, the show's name is ...

K-Ville.

Shall we play some spot the irony?
rah*

Ah Bleh

2008-02-18T03:06:00.002+02:00

I can't sleep again so I was going to do a quick postie on one of the arb thoughts I had the other day. But now that my pc is all started up, I can't remember what it was about. Would you mind terribly if I got back to you on that one?

So I think I'll 'draft' this and go and read instead. Or I could go all stream of conciousness post-modern modernist and leave it as be. The conscious construction, self awareness.

Hear me now, Virginia Woolf, hear me now.

hynnujjjjjjmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.m,ytrrrrrrrddddddddddddddddddddddddddddtfffffffffffffffffff5

Lawdeh...I wonder if I should delete that.
(That was me falling asleep at my keyboard.)
Ah bleh.

Vive Le Modernisme!
rah*

In Typical qL Fashion:

2008-01-28T23:03:00.000+02:00

In honour of three people, who in their own ways each deserve a post of their own, queen_Lestat hereby announces the arrival of some Black Humour. Now I know lots of people will probably get hard-arsed about something like this, but I think we should take a step back and heave a collective LOL at the non-religious elements of the composition presented:

B!, F!, C!...in that order!

*bows head in blasphemous shame*
rah*

I still <3 Billy of the 90s !

2008-01-18T00:14:00.000+02:00

As if Zeitgeist wasn't bad enough.

As if this wasn't the single most offensive picture of all of 2007:

And then just when I thought you couldn't go any lower than shagging Courtney, he goes and does this:

WTF?!
Why did self respect die with the 90s?

Sadness :/
rah*

Haai Boet, Dis Mos 'n Bietjie Magic

2008-01-09T12:33:00.000+02:00

Between this

and this

I can't laugh any more.

LOL
rah*

T(w)o Face(d)book

2008-01-09T00:34:00.000+02:00

I can't take this anymore, I've just clicked ignore on 10 group invites so far (tonight only) and now I can't go on anymore. Going to get carpal tunnel syndrome if I continue clicking away. Here goes (of what's still left from that which I have not ignored already):

Requests
15 group invitations4 my heroes ability requests3 you're a hottie request2 how evil are you? invitation4 popularity request1 united red devils invitation2 name analyser invitations1 logical vs creative invitation1 good vs evil invitation1 slayers invitation4 hug requests4 bumper sticker requests5 mistletoe kiss requests3 growing gifts invitations4 your sexyness request1 what color are you? invitation3 cause invitations2 lovability request1 my questions friend request5 are you interested? invitations2 brain game requests3 picture personality invitations4 hotness requests1 sexy name calculator invitation1 birthday calendar invitation1 zodiac animal invitation1 what drug are you? invitation1 wishabi request1 you naughty? invitation1 join my entourage request1 reputation invitation1 acounter invitation1 mental blocks invitation1 risk invitation1 zombies invitation1 superlative invitation1 give beer to friend request1 trick or treat request1 werewolves invitation1 superpoke! friend request5 top friends friend request1 poker- help a friend invitationBack to Homepage

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!!! Jislaaik...

Unless it's something really good ...
please ...
be ...
considerate ...
to ...
everyone.

kthnxbye
rah*

Stupid Post

2008-01-05T15:40:00.000+02:00

Right, so sue me. I don't do New Year Resolutions, I do online quizzes though. It's equally time wasting as the former. n3rd 4 l1f3! \m/ So here goes, a post, a cheap one at that too, but a post none the less. I have a kind of arrangement with someone that I will throw in a 2c on religion. Look out for that.

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Literature Nerd Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It's okay. I understand.
Drama Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Social Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Musician
Anime Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

And thanks to Saaleha, I now know that I can spel en do gramerrrrr:

And then the force took over and bandwidth rape became commonplace in the land:

(those are screen shots because blogger wasn't picking up on the coding cut and paste jobby properly)

See, the thing with online quizzes is that they're addictive,and often lol-worthy(though some have appalling grammar and spelling and look like they've been designed by 12 year old 3m0 n008z). But I find that if you didn't know you were going to get a particular answer then you need to lock yourself up in a cupboard and get to know yourself. And now I have zero to say since that. Fare thee well Farmer John.

And for the grand finale...just when you thought life couldn't get better/worse here comes- Happy 08!

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! boredomnesseses
rah*

Why? How? Actually... WHAT?!

2007-12-31T00:22:00.001+02:00

I blame The Organ Harvester.

For probably cultivating such a fan base and then laying the smackdown (so to speak) on the powers that be to demand equal rights.

Please, oh please someone tell me how is it possible that the dictionary on my humble, unassuming cellular phone has the word "Pillay" stored by default? But I had to add "phoned" and "phone" in as words.

Noodlew, mageno, intender <- that's what I get when I tried Moodley, Naidoo, and Govender. It was worth a try...right?

I think there might just be one too many charos in I.T.

teh_weirdness
rah*

Patriotism is...

2007-12-11T03:24:00.000+02:00

me.

zOMG!

I cannot sleep because I am worrying about the ANC Polokwane conference thing. No, really. Despite my usual insomnia, my eyes cannot close and neither can I stop thinking about the possibilities of the outcome.

zOMG!

I mean what if Zuma wins? Will showering join beetroot and garlic and olive oil and lemon juice in our National First Aid Kit? What if Thabo wins? Will he cling to power and become Mugabe II? Well garlic and lemon juice concoction will still be available on the chronic medication list anyway. *shrivels into foetal position*

zOMG!

Lawdeh, I'm blogging about this *clutches duvet*. Talk about g33k!n355.I don't want to get into the ins and outs and of why we shouldn't panic. Because that would be hypocrisy at it's best. Personally, I think they're both a bit Blaaaaah and I wish we had one of those head to head presidential candidate debates like they do in the States.

zOMG!

I don't know whether the tone of what I am writing here is revealing the SHEER AMOUNT OF PANIC I feel. I think I am mad. Really.

zOMG!

I have this feeling of panic...like I quit smoking, imbibed a litre of coffee-neat and then went to OD on 3ph3dr4**. teh_panic! Consternation is not a good noun...sounds too fuddy duddy to reflect TEH_PANIC!!!

zOMG!

AAAAAAAAAAAAarrrrrrrrggh!!!

zOMG!

I hope it all works out, I need sleep. I can only imagine how Zuma and Thabo feel...I wonder if they have sleepless nights worrying about the state of the country and it's people like I have.

Nkosi Sikele i Afrika...we need it.
*counting sheep*

rah*

**please translate on your own- 3= e and 4=A. Don't need any more spam through Google searches than I already have :)

Close Encounters of the Fan Kind

2007-11-27T14:34:00.000+02:00

As weird as the following tale will sound, please be rest assured that as weirded-out as you will be, I was more so weirded-out. Right now, back to business.

I was going to do this one press release style, but hey I don't take myself seriously enough to do so. And it seems very lame now, though it was funny on Sunday. To the point, yeah get on with it, say the voices.

What is it with Blaaaaahnians?I mean really, people are going for Hajj, but 27 people pitch up to say goodbye to 2 people. Fair enough, but there's a designated Hajj Meet and Greet area at JHB International/O.R. Tambo International. Logic dictates that you go to those places and do your whole business there. But no, Blaaaaaahnians need to stand in the queues at the check in counters with the people travelling. Consequently, this creates a glut of people which then inconveniences everyone else because there's no place to move.

Bearing in mind that the general Hajj greeting process goes something like this: people going for Hajj go and visit all relevant people informing them of their intention to go, then the people who were greeted go to the people going to go and greet them before they go. And then they still rock up at the airport for one last shot at a goodbye. Before the cultural crusaders, imbecilic bandwagoners, and right-clicking thieves and company decide to educate me, I do know the meaning of the tradition and why people feel it is important. My gripe here is why they can't follow the rules and go to the designated area and not clog up an entire airport terminal making small talk from 6pm for a flight that leaves at 10pm. Blaaaaahnians.

Here's the weird part. So I'm at the airport, and I was at the check in area, not to be a Blaaaaahnian pleb, but because I had gone to find parking and was locating the car key owner who was in the queue. I decided to wait a bit away from the crowds because of the above ^. I don't like to inconvenience people, yes I'm nice like that. I stood about for a bit looking at the scene in front of me and thinking about how blog-worthy the whole situation was.This is when I notice a couple looking my way, then looking away. Forgot about it, and eventually I decided that I might as well go upstairs and watch some planes.

With the throngs at the airport as thick as being on the Plains of Arafat, I had to weave my way through a bit to get out. My Jheri Curl path takes me past "The Couple" and as I walk past them I hear a solitary "queen_Lestat?!". They didn't shout out loud or anything, but it was audible, (if I had no idea what it was about, I'd have walked right on)so I stopped and turned around kinda worried that I was starting to hear things. So "The Couple" nudges each other and then very politely asked me if I was queen_Lestat. I think they need to add a cement slab to the part of the floor where my jaw dropped. My dialogue was something like "errr, ehm, err yes, why?" and their response was a something gushy along the lines of "omg lol you're our hero!!!". Now queen_Lestat is an under the radar type character so this came as a bit of a shock. They recognised me from my blog. No, you didn't miss any pictures, but I'm sure you'd maybe consider stealing that too for some other nefarious ends.

Male-reader-half-of-"The Couple" said:"From your blog I figured tall female, dressed in black, wearing Doc Martens in this day and age".

queen_Lestat said: "Err you took a pretty calculated guess"

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple" said: "We've been reading your blog for ages now, I thought it was maybe possible, plus you were looking at the place like you were amused, you know like posting a Chronicle"

queen_Lestat (still all wtf?):"Guilty as charged, lol, but I could've been anyone?"

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple":"That's why we tried saying queen_Lestat because only someone who it clicks with will get it"

queen_Lestat: "aaaah clever people!"

*lols all around*

Male-reader-half-of-"The Couple": "I've never met a famous person before, we email all your stuff to our friends"

*queen_Lestat dies a million deaths*

Female-reader-half-of-"The Couple": "lol, so like can you please blog about this"

queen_Lestat (utterly mortified): "lol okay, it's too weird not too"

*exuant stage left*

Strues people, the weirdness of the life that is mine.Okay so they're loyal readers, but it doesn't make it any less weird.It's amazing how tiny little details can mean so much, things which you'd never really notice or think of as being too important.

I have no idea who these people are really, but hey here's your special Chronicle delivery on demand for you guys. Glad you enjoy them :)

I wonder if they, like Hunter S Thompson thought "there (s)he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."

Love and staaarph to my two new found email people
rah*

From Timorous Infant to Enfant Terrible: The Chronicles Turn Two!

2007-11-15T22:49:00.000+02:00

So last year I gave the Chronicles a treat and we did the whole first birthday party thing like any proud mummy would do. This year, we've matured a bit and so in celebration of our coming of age and further entrenchment in the blog world: (wait for the end, I need to stuff more stuff in first, then just pretend that the other stuff came here kthxbye).

Entrenchment (for the retarded eejits who continue to bombard me with /quit blogging requests) is a noun referring to the act of entrenching, entrenching on the other hand is a transitive verb meaning to be firmly placed in a particular area/position. Right, now that that's done with here's the birthday treat.

This is what I believe I should be saying to all those morons. This is my take on The Chronicles of Blaaaaahnia. And here's to another year of slow, sporadic (though at times not so worth it) posts. VIVA TO THE DEMISE OF BLAAAAAHNESS!!!

See you guys on the flip side of this, I've got some stuff in my head.
rah*

Remember,Remember...

2007-11-05T00:33:00.000+02:00

I am usually one of the first people to warn against the dangers of reductionist theories when it comes to history.

But...

To all the rebels,the idealists, the believers in the mantra of: what we sow today we reap tomorrow,the anarchists, the ones who are willing to fight for your causes without fear. To anyone who thinks our days of fighting for freedom are over(and to those who believe they're not),to anyone who is willing to sacrifice themselves to make a difference.

To anyone who believes in the power of the greater good of the people outweighing the corruption and oppression of governments the world over.To anyone who believes in the importance of the freedom and independance of the media. To all those who believe that they contribute to educating people about the importance of all of the above.To anyone with an ounce of Romanticism and poetic depth left about their souls,

Happy Guy Fawkes to all of you!

She who advocates anarchy without violence
rah*

Smells like Eid Spirit

2007-10-14T21:07:00.001+02:00

This is the Ramadaan-Eid post. The sort of mention it lest you feel like you've missed an important obligation of sorts (guilt trip into submission type) one.

Warning: Semi-vacuous rambling to follow.

I kept all my fasts, helped around like the domesticated pet that I am, and generally behaved. I'm almost disqualified from the realm of childhood due to the fact that I have a signed employment contract. But I'm still young enough (for now) to be considered Eidi-worthy. I've missed several birthdays and anniversaries tags in between. One of which was Anne Rice's on the 4 October. Happy Birthday bitch, lotsa love, rah*.

Following the whatseemstobeaanannualRamadaan spider spotting spree (the one I described last year was about the same size), herewith are the pictures (circa Ramadaan 2007) of the mofo I somehow found chilling out on my room door.

(Apologies for the quality, it was the best I could do considering the semi-darkness and not wanting to go paparazzi on the Celebrity Spider's ass.)

I just left it alone as usual, it vanished, Lord knows where to, but it did. I haven't seen it since, and neither have I spawned any extra superpowers. Well at least not any more than the ones I already possess.

Re: Facebook. It bloody sucks, it's glorified email. (We will not go into details regarding it's complexity to use and the fact that I can barely use the freaking thing or the way it clogs your inbox with merde soos Person X has inhaled click this link to view more.; Person Y has exhaled click this link to view more.)I've possessed it for the last week and I am dubious as to it's importance on the Internet and life in general. And as for all the "omg it's so kewl, you can liek write on people's walls and stuff!!!!! you HAVE to get Facebook". It is my very un-humble opinion that the wall phenom is nothing more than Instant Messaging for voyeurs. (I just don't respond to stupid messages and I don't have lots of time to spare, so I'll reply sometime or the other if you left a non-stupid message)

Perhaps weblife's greatest irony is that the very same people who insist you get with the web 2.0 vibe, have /quit Facebook (including the same people who create your account -_-). There are also other twits who insist on telling you how amazing it is, and who begged you to get on,but they have absolutely no interaction with you (according to quite a few of my Facebook baccalaureates this is quite de rigueur, it's nothing personal (and I'm guilty to a certain extent of it too),which I suppose is fair enough). We've come to the conclusion that they've added you as a "friend" purely to increase their friend count.You serve no other purpose there.Shallow and fickle are not the only words I could think of to cover this trend.

I have stated this before, and I think I should restate my case.People who mean anything to anyone and who are of any importance and consequence in and to your life(be they people you know in real life or from the vast and infinite black and white pixels of the /Online Realm)...you don't need/shouldn't need a website to alert you to who they are. I made a mental list of some of these people the other day. And I am grateful to have these folk in my life in whatever form they take.

Okay, sure there've been obscure people from a life lived long ago, who've found me.Through a fake name and alles! Nice to see them, nice to know that they just needed to take one look at my display pic and see my 'name' for them to know that it could only ever be yours truly. But for all the miles and memories in between, is there anything left there to touch base with again? I certainly do not have the time or the will to want to write detailed biographical tales of all my major life epics spanning the last almost 2 and half decades.And I don't suppose they do either.

My point is, is that whilst some people are just merely acquaintances they find themselves on your list of friends as though they are of integral importance to your life. It might be a matter of semantics, but queen_Lestat is not the sort to leave such matters be. She tends to suffer from a debilitating syndrome called Overthought. Most of her inner circle, would agree that this condition is better than Underthought, though that's a whole other debate. Ponder and Muse... sounds like a good name for a cosmetic brand./me trademarks it!

But ye, web 2.0 is a capricious vagrant, with about as much ability to discern between antipodean elements as a drunk-whilst-parallel-parking-female-on-a-cell phone. The queen Declareth it such.

I should call this post finito now. I've infringed on my own disclaimer.

I assume I need no conclusion.
/quit
rah*

PS (there's possibly only 5 people reading this now, who will instinctively know where *that's* adapted from.Those 5 are not on Facebook ;) )

With Much Annoyance...

2007-10-01T14:11:00.000+02:00

So far, I've managed to avoid the facebook "craze" quite simply because I cannot see the hype or the necessity of it in my already overly mediated life.And that was one bloody long sentence, but anyway...

Also, I found the whole phenom a bit too self-whoreish for my very private, under the radar, virtual anomaly type tastes. Then he-who-shall-not-be-hyperlinked goes and lives up to his threats of creating an account for me. (Those in the know, will know that lately a few of my good friends were involved in a challenge called break-into-qL's-accounts-to-annoy-her-when-she-tries-logging-in). So through no fault of my own I now have a FaceBook account...and I don't even have the password etc.

Furthermore, the person who created the account has known me for almost 18 years.

He spelt my name incorrectly.

However, I forgive him. After all, (lol) he hearts post-grunge music. Poor child :P

Thanks a lot lol. Now, I've gotta find a way of deleting this thing. I feel so tainted. Anyway, the said friend promised I don't have to do anything but that I should give him a week and see who or what he pulls out of the woodwork.Thereupon I should try it for a month. BLEH!!!!Talk about feeling like a sell-out when you're not even one on your own steam or effort.

Damnit...everyone who I would've normally associated myself with on such a forum has upped and left.But I'll give Ferez a week. This better be good.Because qL hearts you too much to be too annoyed. But she is...and an irritable queen is most likely the sort to yell "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!"

Oh and the anonymous retard is welcome to add me as a friend. I'm magnanimous like that. Here's one of the last spam-conversations (it was at around 8pm-ish) (Suprisingly, yes, it is still spamming me)

It: "u no u a reel bitsh y u mst tel ur frnds 2 send i so mch emales"
me : "rather that than a f'n moron, you dweeb...get lost, you're not funny anymore, you're a tiresome mutilator of language"
It: "i no u a satinist c hw u sware me in rumzan"

Anyone else spotting the irony? O yeah and because of my so called (rather kinky sounding) "satin-ist" activities this reject and it's three acclaimed signatories want to start a petition to get me off the Muslim Blogger's Webring. Everyone please -_- it with me. It never ceases to amaze me the sheer stupidity of people out there.

The Blaaaaaahnians are out there.
rah*

WB!!!! lag BRB

2007-09-09T17:06:00.000+02:00

So it's a month since I lasted posted. Talk about having a knack for stating the obvious.That sure as hell beats the DearDiaryTodayI... introductions. I don't care, should I be? I don't know. Anyways today I found a few minutes to actually read all the comments on the post below and I will try to keep up with the rest of them pouring in. Talk about pulling people out of the woodwork, it was not the point of the post, but thanks anyway guys. You non-Google account holding loyal readers...yeah you know who you are :P.

And then I found some utterly stupid comments, which annoyed me no end. But I don't suppose some people will ever learn that basic decency and sensitivity is a universal human language and not limited to English, while there are yet others who really have nothing to contribute besides showing their own empty minds.

And no, I don't feel like being nice about it and all blogger-buddy and keeping up appearances in the bloggerhood. There are utter fucktards out there, and some have left their mark here.Like animal piss.Only this isn't your territory.Blaaaaahnia is your land. I am the antithesis of Blaaaaaahnian, you are the personification. Don't get it? I refer you to to Abrams' A Glossary of Literary Terms and to Peck and Coyle's Literary Terms and Criticism. Although, I think that too is a wasted trip to the library. The point of being firmly rooted in the Blaaaaaah species is that you don't get anything. Ever.

Anon retard still emaileth the same old crap...gmail filters it as spam....MORON.Though credit...if I was that bored to be doing such childish things and being ignored I'd have stopped by email 2 but not this fine, young specimen of the best of Blaaaaahnia. No sir...67 emails and counting...

There's not much left for me to say or comment on what's already been said. And when things are over and done for yours truly, queen_Lestat (there's a reason for my choice of capitalisation.I am SUCH a Modernist at times), then they are well and truly over.Read the comments and imagine what I'd have to say to you if you need a reply. And remember...when it comes to terminal stupidity...I am not very forgiving.

Here's a little entertainment, until such time as I next grace you with my esteemed presence.When I first saw this guy I was like zOMG MARRY ME!!! This is raw talent.A little something which many people don't possess, together with dignity(but that's another debate altogether).My equally talented Chylde (yes, qL has adopted a chylde :P) gets a big thanks for being the first to link me up to this guy (thereafter I whored the link off to several other relevant people, and this has been meant to be posted for eons now). Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present *drumroll* Andy Mckee with Drifting:

Enjoy,
rah*

When Blaaaaahnians Cry, They Cry a Rainstorm.

2007-08-06T19:27:00.000+02:00

And so ladies and gentlemen, it is with much honour that I hand out today's retard award.Now queen_Lestat is no stranger to hate mail or to completely inbred half wits.Blaaaaaahdium (and other equally Blaaaaah places such as Blehnz and Blaaaaaahzaadville) is full of such specimens.However, one particular email shimmied itself into my mailbox. I have honoured the last few shreds of dignity attached to the said person and not pasted their email details.These are however, available on request. A flight attendant will serve it when we've reached due altitude.So sit back, and enjoy the ride. Oh and as with any text presented for scrutiny in a foreign language for the purposes of this critical analysis a detailed translation will follow the said text. (I kid you not this is strues bob the kind of people that infest this world.) Here we go now:

good day queen lestat

who is dis blog crit n dragan.tel it to me now cs u mst be noing dem.y dey lyk ur blg n no 1s elss n den dat cujo cums n starts sumtimes u mad or sumting or u fscking drag hw cum dey dnt lyk oda ppls blogs.wat is rong wit u i even took u of my list cs u neva red my blg u such a fsck n i dnt
sware bt u hav all dis black blog lyk a satinst n den ur blg name dnt evn maks sence. r u evn a muslim how u gt on da muslim ring huh tel me nw do u evn red namaz or do u nly blg dey cum n tel us shit bt dey dnt tel u nutting y tel me if u no dem. who sed dey mst vote u for da awrd.u no u nt goin to win dats y u dnt evn put up da sticka.ur blg jus faulty it shows dat u r wired n dat u mad cos u dnt evn no dat u r a human hhahhaha n den u put shaikspaere in ur blg lyk u 1 eng teacha gt a lyf u 23 n u gt a blg go gt marrid hahhhaa. n den y u dnt b lyk one norm persin n put up picts n ur rael name den we cn al no how u r.i saw ur udder blg dos picts r so dum haaahaha a few dey cum out broun bwaahahhahahaha wat flops n dey so borng 2 c cos it shows dat u neva go 2 india cos u not in da picts n u cnt evn mach ur socks in da pic

i wnt 2 no whodey r cs dey fsckng on my blog n on my frens u betta tel me n u so tick to put ur emale on ur prof now evry1 cn tel u dat u dnt make sence hahahaha n dat prof is nonsence it dnt make no sence whatkine wit dat u spk elvis how dat gnna help on kiyamit. who sed deymst lyk ur blog n im not going to red urs no mor cs u dnt red mine n i ws goin 2 pt u on my linx bt i tink i wont hahahaha loooooool sori 4 u loozer.

tel ur frrens to stop fscking wit us if we 2 cleva 4 dem n dey dnt no nutting we dnt care wat dey tink cs we no we da kewl ppl n dat lest we gt frens whocn rite 4 real n put tings lyk shaikspaer bwaahahhaa lyk we in shcool. u betta msg me bk n tel me da info i need or il flud u til u tel me

bye
:-))))))))))))))))))))))

It took me quite a while to read that. Yes, Ulysses and Finneagan's Wake were an easier read each than that, you're such a genius. Greater than Joyce himself. Anyways, the said emailer is completely anonymous besides the fact that they have a fetish for the letter Z. Also the said emailer provides no url or blog references at all but is obviously a blogger or a suck up to someone who got crapped on. Yes, retard that is shit which you are imbibing. I still await a reply from the said moron with regards to the fact that I can understand many languages but I don't speak fucktard, could the person please be so considerate as to retype the brief and the queen will then attempt addressing the issues at hand. Upon receipt of a very eloquent "fsuck you" the queen has decided to go it alone.Herewith follows the queen_Lestat translation of the text.

Dear queen_Lestat,
Who are blog_critic and dragan? Please tell me now, because I have a feeling that you might be able to guide me as to who they might possibly be.I would like to inquire as to why they seem to enjoy reading your posts compared to lots of other people's.Occasionally, they hold cujo's blog in high regard as well and she voices her opinions loud and clear as well.I would also like to question your sanity and I would venture to ask whether you are perhaps having some sort of relationship with either of them to make them visit here so often and why they antagonise and dissect other peoples posts up?

What is wrong with you?I have even gone so far as removing you from my list of blog links because you have never visited my blog or read it ever.You are such a fuck and I don't swear.However, you have this blog which is all black rather like the stereotype of a Satanist to top it all off, your blogs name does not make any sense.

Furthermore, I would urge you to declare your religious disposition and I want to know if you are a Muslim because you are on the Muslim Blogger's Webring.I want to stress the urgency of this request please.It is of vital concern to me whether you maintain your Islamic duties or whether you spend all your time blogging.They (dragan and blog_critic as mentioned above) often visit our blogs and leave scathing critiques of our works.And yet they have not done so on this blog as yet. Please tell me why this is so? Again I repeat my call for information regarding the above two personae.

Another matter of importance I wish to discuss with you is who gave blog_critic the authority to nominate your blog for the Blogger's Choice Awards. You obviously know that you don't stand a chance to win the competition when there's blogs like Perez Hilton up for nomination as well. I opine that this is the very reason which you do not and have not put up your nomination "brag badges".

I do believe that your blog is faulty (sic) and in addition to it's inherent flaws, it shows that you are weird.I once again question your sanity in your belief that you are not a human being but rather a Vampire or an Elve.Also, you put up posts containing references to Shakespeare and these suggest that you have some knowledge of English Literature, akin to a teacher of English.My advice is that, since you are 23 and you blog, you should consider marriage as a suitable alternative to blogging.

Why do you not put up pictures of yourself as well as your real name and other personal details so that we all know who you are?I saw your other blog as well, those pictures are ridiculously silly.And are so poorly taken that some even turned out brown.Your photography is thus a failure.The pictures are exceedingly boring to look at and this proves that you did not go to India because you are not present in any of the pictures present. Evidence also suggests that you cannot match your socks.

I reiterate my request to you because I want to know who they are because they are performing sexual intercourse on my blog as well as with my friends.I am now threatening you to submit to my demands for attention and information.You are so very silly for putting up your email address on your blog profile because this encourages people to take their queries regarding anything to you personally.Your profile itself does not make sense in the least. You speak Elvish, how exactly will that help you on the Day of Reckoning?Who gave blog_critic and dragan permission to like your blog? Personally, I feel that it is my duty never to read your blog again because you do not read mine.Just when I was considering re-linking you up. Guess you just lost out there on a key opportunity.

Please tell your fans to stop harassing us because we are obviously intellectually superior to them. We know everything, and they know nothing.We do not care about what they think about us because we know that we are more socially acceptable and, to put it in the vernacular, "cooler".We know this because we are fully justified in saying that we are friends who can write in real life and who do not post things such as Shakespeare, which lost it's relevance when we were in school.

In conclusion, queen_Lestat, please see to it that you send me the information I require or I shall be forced to oblige my company and flood your inbox with this email until you do so.

Thank you for your time,
Yours Sincerely
**********

Now I don't know whether such idiocy deserves a response but I shall state a few things categorically. Because I know there are many more retards where this one came from.

I do not know who blog_critic or dragan are or where they've come from.
If they happen to like reading this blog, it's the exact same reason they don't like yours...subjectivity.And perhaps the fact that I am not so severely inbred as you are.
I don't know who you are or where you blog, but damnit if you type like that I don't want to see it...EVER.Retard, fuckwit, vowelless aberration of language.
Also, since you really don't care what people think about you and your little chums, why are you emailing me?Retard.
The amount of class you display here, makes Bob Ewell look like the patriarch of the Rothschild's.
I recommend a LARGE dose of the shit that is Linkin Park because I have a feeling Mike Shinoda will speak to all that emo angst so nicely packaged in your fuckwitted self.Retard, emo.
I have, just by reading that, ASL'd you that you are:Female (a male would say FUCK like a man) or else you're a raving hissy fitting queen(ie a manbitch), b) you're from Durban or the East Coast ("faulty", "whatkine"," lyk u one eng teacha") yeah the Blood of the Phoenicians runs strong in you.And I don't refer to the Great Ancient Empire when I say that, c) you're under 20 or at least your mental status is, your spelling and grammar is worse than a 5 year olds.Retard.
While on the topic of birth defects, you come across as someone who would lose a fight if people started with "yo' momma" jokes. Ultra Retard.
You are the perfect embodiment of what happens when pregnant women snort nuclear waste instead of crack.And also when they use Agent Orange instead of hair spray.Retard deluxe.
My photography on Graphic Descriptions, is called Sepia in that "brown" series which you refer to like the pleb that you are. Your fabled intelligence should also tell you that you use a particular film and light setting to achieve that effect and that it is not a random "flop".It does not contain me, cos I am holding the camera.And I don't see the dangling appendages of any cows.You didn't say anything about cows?Oh sorry, I'm not sure what else udders refers to.Retard.
Also, Picts were an ancient peoples from England, fore bearers to the Scots.So I obviously can't put them up cos they're extinct by now I guess. But you obviously know better than me.*shrugs*
I might be a Jedi, but I cannot do mind tricks across international borders to be in any "relationship" with some random n00b blogger on the scene whom I do not even know.Retard.
If I want to quote Shakespeare and discuss literature all day, I most certainly will.And if you don't get it. Well then? Take a book and read perhaps?
And it's rather quaint how you went to "shcool", maybe there they didn't have any "teacha's" which explains a lot about you.
I don't read your blog cos I don't know who you are, but evidently I'm supposed to give you credit for being the spokesperson for your little Cabal?And yes, I'm sure I'd be delighted to have my blog advertised on your piece of crap front page wherever it may be.Retard.
I speak ElvisH you dunce, I might be polite, but I don't go around saying in a deep voice "thank you, thank you very much". And no it won't help me for Qiyamat, but my knowledge of Arabic might smooth things over a bit. You will be duly doused with a generous helping of Dr Seuss I think.
And on the topic of all things religious. I see you so perfectly encapsulate Islam.As is the first revelation of Islam, which is to seek knowledge, please teach me how to be just as dumbassed, judgemental, and intellectually deficient as you are.
Also, don't pick fights when you know you stand a very good chance of humiliation. Learn that soon in life. Retard.
If you would please be so kind as to take a very long walk off a short cliff and do humanity a favour.Retard.
I quote an ultra important person in my life when I say, "I cant believe that people with actual learning disabilities have unsupervised access to the internet". And yes that is a direct dig at you. Retard.

And as promised, hope you're dressed for the occasion but here you are, especially for you:

Thank you God Bless, Goodnight
rah*

PS this post will be updated, so check back for more.

PPS any one sees the irony especially in light of the post called "I think I died"??Man, if I knew how to do the website bits I would SO do a dramatic reading of this one and put it up. Although I might sound like I'm speaking !X'am! judging by the style of writing.

PPPS this person is MOST definitely human.

Why?! The VERY idea...

2007-08-01T21:59:00.000+02:00

Scully: "Have you ever entertained the idea of trying to find life on this planet?"

Mulder: "I have seen the life on this planet, Scully, and that is exactly why I am looking elsewhere."

From The X-Files

Pretty much sums me up . The Mulder part that is. Human beings are an awful species.Really are quite disgusting and base. I, however, am part Vampyre, part Elven...sooooo... stfu?

Blaaaaahnians have landed :/
rah*

I think I died....

2007-07-11T23:09:00.000+02:00

If you ever wondered if your crappy spelling(aka vowel-less abbreviations and other distortions of language) and writing style made any difference to anyone or the meaning or what it sounded like irl...
Guess what...

...it does...

ROFLMAO
rah*

P.S. Speakers on for this one please

It's the fiiiiiiii-nal countdown

2007-07-09T21:23:00.000+02:00

Tonight, Tonight... that's all I have to wait for Zeitgeist.

I hope this is as huge as I think it is. Tarantula is good, but I don't think there will ever be another Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness or another Machina again.

Billy was not the band.Their combined efforts made them what they were. Fuck you D'arcy and and James. For being total asses. And fuck you Billy, for being a self righteous prig. Anyways half the band's new, the name's old, hope the sound (and more importantly the lyrics) stays so too; and true to who they were and what they represented,

"For this heart's
A little bit older
Try to hold on
To this love aloud
And we are still alive
Try to hold on
And we have survived
Try to hold on
And no one should deny
We tried to hold onto the pulse of the feedback current
Into the flow of encrypted movement
Slapback kills the ancient remnants
That try to hold on
Try to hold on
To this heart alive
Try to hold on
To this love aloud
Try to hold on
And we are still alive
Try to hold on
And we have survived
Try to hold on
Pop tart
You never listen..."

Holding Thumbs
rah*

The Eagles (Almost Wouldn't) Have Landed

2007-07-04T21:29:00.000+02:00

This day in History:

4 July 1776

America gets it's independence from Britain after a bloody revolution.I think it was one of the last battles/wars ever fought on American soil.America has gone to war in other countries though, but never really had a battle in their own backyard ever since.

However, on this day, the King of England at the time, one of the Georges (III probably because George V kicked it in the 20th century and IV would've probably have been too young). Anyways the George King (III?) wrote the following in his diary as his entry for the day, on this very day that America was proclaimed independent:

"Nothing important happened today".

I think his son replaced him on the throne because he later went insane. Go figure...

Thought I'd share that
rah*

PS got the America's funniest home videos theme song stuck in my head now for some reason.

I AM...

2007-06-28T04:12:00.000+02:00

...one of those weird Japanese manga-style horror movies, sans subtitles....
No one really gets the point of it all, but everyone still recommends you watch it.

*sighness*
rah*

Oh PS and to the fucktard army, before you start,I do watch those movies.For your purposes substitute Bollywood Sudden Song and Dance Sequences out of nowhere for Japanese.

*credits to Wesley for the title in it's original form, and to Nicky and Nick who saved the Shire with me :)

Inflation

2007-06-14T22:16:00.000+02:00

1x pair of Doc Martens somewhere around 1996 or before...R300-350ish

December 2006...they die whilst not in my direct possession.

1 x (last) pair of Doc Martens(tagged with the sign of the beast) June 2007 from some obscure charo shop... R200

(I kid you not, that was the price. Thanks to some weird high paying, very easy,very last minute editing job, (which I didn't think counted as "work", therefore considered it freebie money)I only had to throw in R200 which is R100 less than 10 years ago.)(Okay, my logic might be a bit weird there but it makes sense to me)

...Being rawking enough to still wear them...

....priceless.

\m/

For everyone else there's pointy Nine West Stiletto boots
(but not for,)
rah*

PS breaking them in again is a bitch...

ph0r g4m3rz

2007-06-12T20:33:00.000+02:00

...the bowling game...lol..

To my fellow gamer geeks out there wherever you may be in this world...Enjoy

credits to the devil himself :) for this gem :)

And if you don't get it, well then, you should know I have keine Mitleid für die Mehrheit :)

Auf Wiedersehen
rah*

New Post

2007-05-31T04:59:00.000+02:00

*sigh*

29 hours straight hours of insomnia and counting...

First Year students should be shot.

Discovered this week with shock-horror-awe that our little department has 10 000 odd students in it across the board and various courses. WTF...Rhodes University has like 6000 students in their ENTIRE armoury. And to think hey, 10 000 student numbers, email addresses, bank details, phone numbers, parents details etc etc are more or less( with varying degrees of difficulty) all at my disposal. *sigh* Sometimes, I think, in these awake hours that it's such a waste that I do not have criminal or stalker tendencies.

Could be fun.

More fun than having your head stuffed so far up some peoples' butts that it's emerging outta their mouths. Okay that was a disturbing image, but it's true for some people.

Spongebob's here to stay for a while, he makes me happy. He's honest and sweet; a sea dweller with simple values, big imagination and heart of gold.

The arthritis in my pinkie's acting up now because of the cold. Goodbye. Yes, Hamish I do have arthritis in one finger and no I am NOT over the hill...yet. Choice time now...Kafka, Eliot,Bronte (Charlotte),James, Sartre,or more rambling in other forms?

It was THE epitome of excellent output in the English Canon(whom I incidentally don't heart much) who said "Oh sleep!Oh gentle sleep! Nature’s soft nurse,how have I frighted thee,that thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down and steep my senses in forgetfulness? Why rather,sleep,liest thou in smoky cribs,upon uneasy pallets stretching thee,and hushed with buzzing night flies to thy slumber,than in the perfumed chambers of the great,under the canopies of costly state,and lulled with sound of sweetest melody?" Henry IV if I'm not mistaken. Extra point to whoever figures out the Act, Scene and if Henry IV is the correct option anyways. Too uncaring to Google, check it up if you must.

I think that was the worst thing I could've done now, the mind buzzes again. I really should amass enough of my arb thoughts and random bits of literary trivia into a compendium or some kind of reference device for myself. Years later I'll think of the weird moments of insomnia and lol to myself.I'm weird like that.Though of this I am completely sure "to sleep,perchance to dream, aye there's the rub."Hamlet III, i.

And that's not suprising, because every person on earth with an iota of English knowledge parades about quoting this section like a freaking Professor Emeritus of Literature. Screw you, you reject plebs. Pariahs of the literary world. The minute you start with your "To be or not to be..." bullshit I can and will tell you "No, you cannot and should not be...be gone".Twit. A twit is a pregnant goldfish, I told my students that last week, they laughed. whooohoooo brain power of the Blaaaaah species duly noted.

"I cried to dream again." said Caliban, and so vile was he and so reprehensible but did we not marvel when even a creature such as his drunken self would "not serve him, (because) he's not valiant." And yeah..Even Caliban placed a limit on the baseness and cruelty which was bestowed on him I guess.Even Caliban had his honour and his pride.

I ramble.
Night
rah*

queen_Lestat's Insomnia Thoughts 101

2007-05-14T03:59:00.000+02:00

Never refuse a breath mint.

meeeh lol.

Okay, granted, both the originality and importance of that statement is questionable. But it popped into my head now. And no, I am not in the mood to Google my own thoughts. And yes, I do that at times, cos there's somethings which are just too random(not to mention weird) which flood my mind.And I do it because I'm heavily mediated and so I may be under the subconscious control of that Institution Amichand Rajbansi so lovingly calls "the meeed-yaah" (mebbe you should hear him say the phrase. It R LOL-ers)and I would like to reference the source accordingly.

This Chronicle Will Now Give Way So That qL And Jane Austen May Share Some Quality Time
rah*

Margarine By Any Other Name Would Still Be A Blog

2007-05-07T11:23:00.000+02:00

I hardly watch tv. Well I'm blessed to have etv and only etv, not even SABC. (long story).I only found out this weekend that Mnet Open Time no longer exists. So anyways I'm behind with tv. I have x files on dvd, I have LOTR on dvd, I have ADSL and YouTube. I am happy. I read newspapers and I select the news I want online, so don't really watch the news either. Well that, and I have serious issues with SA news and it's total reliance on the proximity before importance clause. O and with etv(though May looks like a good movie month) the adverts drive me insane, I can just see the Fellowship of the Ring next weekend dragging out into a 6 hour affair.

But...But...twice this weekend I was so blessed as to see the Stork Margarine/Cuilliness(sp?) stuff being advertised and all this woman talks about is her blog with an AWFUL pun (I swear not even I am that bad) something to do with "my blog is just MySpace" har har. QUESTION: "what does margarine have to do with blogging?" I have no idea, though Cobain darling dearest did.But yes, he has a gutter mind.

I have enough media and marketing knowledge to say that you sell a product to a target market. Right? So are bloggers margarine people? I am not. I loathe the stuff.Dunno about you guys though, but that ad is THE (I typed that pressing shift key down...that's how much emphasis is required)most retarded thing I've ever seen. Who is the moron who think-tanked that up? Furthermore how idiotic are the Stork people to accept such a poor ad and ridiculous concept? It goes beyond Blaaaaah, it goes headfirst into the realm of "unforgiveable".

Maybe I don't get the point. Maybe it's briiiilllliant and I am completely missing the Loerie potential of this bey-bee.

Then Bullard had his say on blogging and bloggers. The past 4 weeks the Sunday Times has been having this blog mania thing. It's like SA has discovered blogging. No wait, cancel that...the internet*wide-eyed wonder*. whoopdidoo. -_-

Furthermore(no she isn't done yet) there's this n00b upstart ex-tech support guy(probably, that's what my imagination says) at the Sunday times who has this YouTube punting column. Basically tells you what to search for for a cheap lol. Now I find this unacceptable; that he gets paid to abuse bandwidth and publish this shyte. Anyone can 'Tube on their own. Somehow that sounded worse than it was supposed to. What I really wanna know is how dumb do they think we are? Obviously they have not encountered real 'net addicts. Condescending, that's the word we use to describe good ol' Sunday Times.

Okay I need a conclusion, I haven't blogged a real Chronicle in forever and a day. Aaaaaaaalllways. Shyte! I make an awful Jon Bon Jovi. And now I must be off to go and speak to young and impressionable first year students about the nature of sources which they employ and how no matter how l33t you think wiki is...when it comes to assignments; gimme Google scholar and no one gets failed.

"I know, I used to find the Internet intimidating too. But this is amazing. It's... my space where I can just express myself...."

LOL (mustremembernottolaughattheStorklady)
rah*

PS happy birthday to H today and to R tomorrow. Love you guys lots :)

Don't Act All Suprised Now.

2007-04-19T21:09:00.000+02:00

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

This poor, poor dude. The symbol of freedom's now sadly a symbol of Capitalist fashion. Bet he's rolling in his grave everytime a new Diesel line comes out.

I guess it's an honour to be a Che-thinker/leader type eh.

/me bows
rah*

teh_queen COMMANDS:

2007-04-12T23:16:00.000+02:00

If you're in and around GP on the 21st of April....

Get your asses down to a very l33t affair: GODA's (Gallery Of Distorted Art) hosting an exhibition and it looks like it's going to be fab. Yes this is a shameless plug for my friends, but I can free advertise if I want to.

CLICK HERE CLICK HERE CLICK HERE *mind control, hypnotic thingies go round in your eyes*

A faerie once whispered to someone I knew once that a little culture never killed anyone. too tr00
rah*

Hope You've Reached:

2007-04-05T19:48:00.000+02:00

To the angst-y White boy...hope you're fucking happy now.
Thank you for saving the by then dying art of guitar music.

Today marks 13 years since the death of that 90s icon. Why I remember this I have no idea. I was pretty upset though back in the day. His death was relinquished to the back burners of SA media, because the 1994 elections were apparently far more important :P.

I only found out on the 19th April 1994. I drew one of those dopey Nirvana smilies for art class that week, got kicked out together with Sharon Naidoo and Divendren Reddy, who did the same. I was in Standard 3 (Grade 5). My first trouble with the law I suppose. Kurt made me do it.

RIP
rah*
PS: To the thing, who not only killed you, but who was ALSO SO manly that she turned Mike Stipe gay...

insert verb phrase here + Bandwagons

2007-03-28T23:37:00.000+02:00

Okay, so I've been tagged by none other than the lone writer, mr k-man himself. And now I wonder what I can possibly say since nothing is really secret in the blog-o-sphere because in the main, the link-hopping readers of this and other Coven blogs are like most egte charos - connected some or the other way. I think Bibi-Ayesha mentioned something to that effect once. But anyways 5 things you don't know about me. Well lets just say, by now I think most of you have realised that I'm not exactly the most normal of people (I'm being diplomatic here).Prepare yourselves accordingly. And no this is not going to be a Ricky Lake snot-en-trane type session.

*Awful pun alert* This is gonna get really taggy:

5: I'm ambidextrous (children, this is the term that you use when describing someone like that girl in the corner who can write with both hands. This is not to be confused with " being 'bi' " which will be discussed when you get to big school by another teacher).

4: I'm 23 and still have my milk teeth [you're all going :| + o_O + -_- right now, yeah I know].Four on the bottom row fell out and the rest never did. Apparently it's rare but not unheard of. The enamel hardens and they become like permanents. I R a weird medical file. I have an allergy count of 714 and 0-25 is normal. 27 is abnormal! Soooo what am I?!

3: I'm double jointed. Did someone say Eugene Victor Tooms?(hyper-linked only because I feel particularly magnanimous towards the plebeians of Blaaaaahnia tonight).

2: You all know I'm a bookworm and Lit buff, but the other day on a typical book shop visit, I picked up a book called something like 1000 Books You Have To Read Before You Die or 1000 Greatest Novels Of All Time. Something to that effect. Yep, you guessed it, I've read most of them in my life time and those which I haven't read I've heard of. Here's an _|_ for whoever says that's sad.:P

1: I can't think of anything now, but if you haven't read my blog profile, then continuing with my fit of magnanimity I will point out that I can speak and understand Elvish. Sindarin and Quenya, yeah behbeh.(More so Sindarin than Quenya). Yes I watched The Lord of The Rings without needing subtitles. And you thought you were such a l33t mofo because you knew what Amitabh Bachan was saying without subtitles, eh?! *shines nails on collar*

I know this is a 5-part tag but:

0. I feel cold, most of the time. Body temperature is normal-cold. I hardly ever feel boiling hot, even in summer. There are people out there who-shall-not-be-hyperlinked will attest to this fact. And you said I wasn't really a vampire? :P

*gets the broom to fend off stalkers*
rah*

Jiiiisssssssslaik bru!

2007-03-23T23:53:00.000+02:00

Is it a bird?!
Is it a plane?!
No?!
Then what the fuck is that?!!!

Jiisslaaaik!!!! BRU!!!, that's a ps3... kwaai ne?

*insert dripping sarcasm here*

She who does not control the fiscal expenditure of the buyers
rah*

Of Ageing Bodies and Eternal Words

2007-03-17T15:32:00.000+02:00

Happy 40th birthday to the Vampiric looking genius, Billy Corgan. Someday when you Google me, remember that I hoped you had a great one. Keep the music coming.

Happy birthday to dev too (cos I won't hear the end of it :P)

Happy 50th ChroniclesofBlaaaaahnia post to queen_Lestat(I should've glammed up and done something readable but anyways, someday I shall compensate.I'm a slacker though, be warned.)

Keeping in with the Zeitgeist
rah*

My statement

2007-02-13T22:24:00.000+02:00

This equation holds true for all real values of x and y....

It's not life ffs. And everyone knows that Dave Winer wannabes are irritating btw, though RSS can be glorious. :)

I Will Continue Blogging On Whim And Not On Demand
rah*
muahahhaha

Pensées de le Esprit

2007-02-09T17:39:00.000+02:00

لَا الشَّمْسُ يَنبَغِي لَهَا أَن تُدْرِكَ الْقَمَرَ وَلَا اللَّيْلُ سَابِقُ النَّهَارِ وَكُلٌّ فِي
فَلَكٍ يَسْبَحُونَ

"It is not for the sun to overtake the moon, nor does the night outstrip the day. They all float, each in an orbit."
Holy Qur'aan Surah Yaseen, Ayah 40 (Chapter 41, Verse 40)

Now I'm no great Islamic Scholar or Tafseer expert, but this particular verse always reminds me that there is a time and place for all things in life. Everything happens within it's own cycles as is meant to be. The world is a vast and complex space, despite the chaos humans create, there is a natural order and a logic which we will never understand.

The world and life as we know it is a miracle and a beauty. And I think that as human beings we tend to be so caught up in our own pettiness that we ignore the little things and our own insignificance in terms of the larger whole. Sometimes we might think we're on the wrong road or we've taken the longer route and wonder what if we'd turned right at the intersection instead of left. But that is because we're human and I doubt we ever truely know why we are where we are and for what reason.

I'm not too much of a fatalist, because I do believe that although there are some things which are destined to be, we do have a large hand in giving our destiny a kick start. You know, every time I hear the word ''destiny'' I see that pained, mock serious look on Brandon Flowers's face. That's beside the point, anyways, I really do feel that we are nothings merely part of the machinery of the universe, cogs in the wheel of life if you will. And we should appreciate where we are now and what we have because we are lucky enough to have a God out there who is Most Merciful.

Just a random thought which I had, thought I'd put it out to the jury since I'm not much of an autocrat.

WanderingWonderer
rah*

Disclaimer
PS I know I'm probably going to get another lot of emails from various self righteous and parasitic imbeciles commenting on the nature of my previous post and now on this one, so I put the disclaimer out now and say please get a life. Some of us are real human beings (though judging by the species we'd much rather be elves or vampires).

Nkosi Sikele...

2007-01-29T18:11:00.000+02:00

Times like this...lol don't you just wish you were in America? Soooo road trip anyone? (And please don't gimme crap comments about music and concerts and their direct relationship with your senses of Halaal and Haraam and all that shit again.People(especially anonymous ones) with blinkers WILL BE SHOT.Anyone with the slightest music knowledge and pop culture and loooooads of alternative culture savvy will realise just what a big deal this is. A line up of what is arguably the biggest music names of the last decade or more.)

Let us weep for being stationed at the bottom of Africa. A small mercy is that at least I'm not in Cape Town...which really is the bottom of the pile :P

*Waits for the floodgate of the Storming Capetonians to start*
The Gauteng Province Fundamentalist
rah*

PS just so that you all know (before the barrage starts) I'm very proudly South African. Just would be nice to imagine summing like this could happen here. This is the honeymoon of the marriage of some of the greatest music ever.

This post is about you...

2007-01-26T21:26:00.000+02:00

Only, you're too dom to find it...

This is especially for you, you who needs to think in colour.

May it follow you around always like a loyal puppy dog. You can't escape your own stupidity.

But in the spirit of all things nice and me being well me...
May the force be with you (wherever you go and whatever path you take)
rah*

eh? Who said the Truth isn't out there?

2007-01-24T22:53:00.000+02:00

Yeah, so I am a liiiiiiitle obsessed with the x-files (at season 8 now;)). The Lone Gunmen spin off series was never aired in SA so I was looking for a set online and found this. I had heard of this story before via my own personal geek network, but always assumed it was an urban legend type thing. I absolutely adored the Lone Gunmen, nowadays they remind me of a certain 3 people I know, who shall remain un-hyperlinked :P. If you suspected this but were never sure...But, ladies and gentleman, loyal subjects... now...teh_proof I give you...

Enjoy :)
rah*

Pass it on...

2007-01-21T23:26:00.000+02:00

My pet peeve of an organisation. Everyone sing with me(to the tune of Queen's Princes of the Universe)

Here they are, porn could be king
But they're the bastards of the uuuuuuuuniverse

Here we belong, fighting to survive
In a country with the hiiiiiighest phone costs (ok doesn't work, humour me...QL)

And here they are they're the assholes of our blog-o-sphere
Here they stay, making us fight for survival
They've come to be the rulers of our world

They are immortal, they have inside them tons of bling
They have no rival, no spam can be their equal
Not taking us to the future of the world...

Okay, I can't think of anymore now. But Telkom sucks.

_|_ eff_ewe Telkom
rah*

Snot en Trane and All Things Brilliantly Happy

2007-01-18T22:53:00.000+02:00

I laughed, I cried, I nearly died.

Okay, melodrama.... But I was semi catatonic for at least 30 seconds. This is one of the l33test, most non Blaaaaaah things to happen in o say about 7 yrs. Read O loyal subjects, read...your tissues are in the post.

*plays air guitar while jumping around screaming "you're the murder in my world..."*
rah*

PS... As promised earlier(see below or below the below) on my thoughts on becoming a celebrity sue-er, *da da da daaa (JAWS OST)* I hereby present my case...

*trane= tears (for non Seffrikens)

Even half a twitch of the lips will do...

2007-01-11T11:31:00.000+02:00

Check what I found! This is one of my favourite sites which for some reason I've never linked up at Cool Clicks. *drumroll* I give to you... The Unemployed Philosopher's Guild. There's just so much here to tickle even the most jaded of academics. And nothing here can possibly appeal to any Blaaaaahnian on the face of this earth, and here I shall refrain from insulting the species of which I speak because their mere presence says it all. But here's the cheap "lol of the day". As the title of this post goes, humour the Queen of Bad puns and all things dry with a semi -smile at least.
It's a mug with the USA Bill of Rights printed(is that the correct word? Can you print on a mug?)or etched(maybe? perhaps?) rather onto it. meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh lol but as you put hot liquid into it, the more the "rights" disappear. Same principle as those stuff you used to get in the coco-pops bags, those colour changing spoons, only infinitely more l33t and g33ky.

enjoy!!!
rah*

P.S. 23 February is my birthday, as well as Dana Scully's, as well as zee's. Now I dunno about them, but this is teh_l33tn3ss personified. Literary kitsch, I like :)

'Twas the season to be bo-ored

2007-01-08T12:57:00.000+02:00

Hello friendly friends!!! Who used to say that? Aaaah ye that turtle fellow...

The parents are back from Hajj.And I've been making my own little pilgrimage with little offerings of tea, zam zam, etc up and down and around and lets clean up now and then lets start over again.Usual drift at my place, only on steroids now. Apparently quite a marvelous experience, and best done when you're young. In the process cashed in on an ipod. YAY!!! now I just gotta figure out how the damn thing works. And while I cashed in on a cult item of the 'naughties i lost out on a cult item of the last century. The last pair of Doc Martens died. dead. gone. finished. impossible. dunno how it happened, but it's over, ripped asunder. Now not only have I seen Live in concert, but now ze Docs have died. Grunge is over. The music will live on forever though.*siiiiiiiiigh* enough tragedy...

O I learned to cook, not that I couldn't before, but now I can cook like what my aunt calls "a proper human being".Talk about charo fundamentalism. Anyone up for khuri kichari? dhaal and rice?All the optional extras that go with it?

I flew a plane. I kid you not. A Cessna 172. Went flight training at Rand Airport, which's in and around Germiston side of GP. Once we reached around 7000 feet I was allowed to steer and navigate all the way to Brixton Towers and then round Ponte Towers in Hillbrow. It was my luck that the runway was busy so we had to stay in the air for a longer period before Air Traffic Control brought us back so pilot Howdy and I took a trip around Johannesburg and then got back. It's a really beautiful city from up there. Quite an experience. Fabulous. I can see why they say that there's a height requirement for pilots.I'm not as short as I should be perhaps.A slight bit of a genetic freak I am, but it's quite tough to see over the top bar of the cockpit control panel thingy. And if you can't see over that, you can't see buildings in front of you...do the math....

Also in this holiday, I have been weaned off the internet and most GPRS operated things, purely due to a lack of availability. However, being in the company of so many females(I am unaccustomed to the phenomenon, I have male siblings only) I've learned to slightly tolerate female whims such as browsing shops with no particular purpose or fitting on stuff you're never gonna buy...ever. However, I can go 20 minutes in a shop now, much better than the 5-10 I could spend and then say "hey guys, I'll be in the book store when you're done ok?"

Now as you can probably tell by the fact that Doc Martens have been blogged about, I do have a bit of a shoe fetish(not in THAT way), but ya i do. And for 2007 I want to buy myself a high heeled shoe. Not a boot or a sandal, but a shoe. A black one, preferably something funky, yet classic. 2007 is the year I say screw the short people, I would like to have something besides flats on my feet, if only for a little bit. Yeah, those dreams get dashed the minute you fit one on, then you realise why you wear flats. Well that and the fact that with a small heel on you're nearly 1.8m tall, and that's not so grand, when all your friends are hobbit sized. You parade around (in flats) like the Giant of Blaaaaahnia.Well not as bad as a female Matthew McGrory, but still relatively bad compared to the rest of my friends. Just once I'd like to wear something like this.

However I think I might just end up re-investing in the 90's.It's sooo much more comfortable to make tea and carry trays around in flats :)

I get a cramp in my cheek and my knees grow week...
night night
rah*

PS... got a busy year ahead of me, but I will try to continue eating up bandwidth with my arb stuff at least more than every so often. All these freaking bugs are kamikazing into my screen.Like a plague. The only light around I guess.

PPS... I might be rich, thinking of becoming a celebrity sue-er person/thing. the k-man will have details! :P

Ladies and Gentlemen, Loyal Subjects...

2006-12-04T12:01:00.000+02:00

So here it is, the blog you've all been waiting for and another five other mental posts all rolled into one. Thank you Meredith Brooks. And just for the record I've been really busy. How'd the Coven of the Keyboard Scribblers gathering go? For the sake of potential blog stalkers out there, you could've found the Coven in GP this weekend. Most extraordinary. The brain power at work there is mind boggling, those who think on behalf of the Blaaaaahnians of our species.

Okay, first up. Live. Yes, it's been more than a month and besides being busy I haven't found the right words to describe it. Words have meaning which makes it kinda tricky. I've now come to realise that nothing could describe it. It really was great, besides that schmultzy conclusion, and the fact that they didn't play Freaks. For me, Live was more than a going to see a concert of a really great band. It was more a cathartic experience. The 90s are now over *sob*, time to move into the next Naughties now. I can still remember the first time I heard Lightning Crashes, I must've been about 9/10 years old. It was on the Barney Simon show, which I followed quite closely for most of my life(he's on TuksFm nowadays). I was completely blown away. Been a Live fan since. And since I'm a child who remembers what life was like without the www, I can safely say that I used to sit with a tape recorder and tape stuff off the radio. mp3 formats were semi-sci fi then. I had loads of music that way. Eventually, years later a very dear friend and Live fanatic bought me the Throwing Copper cd.

Live will always remind me of the following people Bazh, Zayzay, Dee(lol!!! we won't say why kiddo...), Ferez, and of course Rain(who can forget the wide open jaw and shock when you found out I was a Live fan)and though we've all gone our separate ways and are on different ends of the planet, I'm pretty sure every time we hear those Lakini's Juice riffs we're transported right back to the Dragonmaster "graduation". It was a bittersweet experience though to see Live without you guys again. However you were there in spirit, I know :)

The picture's kinda Blaaaah on pc but it makes a kickass wallpaper on my phone. Getting to the Dome was slightly traumatic, it just didn't stop raining. Now since I'm the queen of awful puns (I was born a sub editor) I was telling CorpseKicker and the lone male and 3/3 of the Super Hero triumvirate that we're doing a "Run THROUGH the water" har har har -_-. And then we somehow landed up in the standing room and in the build-up to Live being on stage after The Parlotones, we somehow or the other strike up a conversation with this Afrikaans girl and her Man-Bitch. My GOD!!! They started talking about religion and of course the ever patient and eloquent Lobelia's student calmly explained the tenets of Islam. Yes to that Anon twat on the earlier posts, we did some Dawah work there. Afrikaans girl offered us some of her alcohol too, most politely i think that's how it started. So her Man-Bitch camp partner at one point when she said she's too old for something actually snivels and says "She's 29*snort*" lol @ the look he got from her. That was priceless. Then there was the woman in front of us who started screaming "Ed, I wanna have your babies!!!!!!" Well that got the third installment of the superheroes LITERALLY rofl'ng.

O and then I picked Saaleha out of a crowd and like the creep I am, walked up behind her,shadow and I both looming over her i flicked her hair gently and asked her in a whisper if she belongs to electric spaghetti...*Tip* don't put pics of yourself up on your blog. I do weird stuff at arb moments. :P

Then there's other people who couldn't make it and who don't answer their phones but eventually do although they miss their favourite song and then there's those that the networks don't allow you to call....

There's so much more to say... But I shall shut up about it now, it plays in my mind like a video. Not so easy to write about. hmmmm...

NEXXXXXXXXXXXXT

PW that old bastard died. Shame. Bigger shame's what's waiting for that grumpy, unrepentant,evil, despicable thing on the other side. Personally I felt that he was being given too much status, it was insulting the thought of offering him a State Funeral made me sick as it probably did most South Africans.

NEXXXXXXXXXXXT

What's up with this SAHUC story? Parents are off, I shall be shipped off to my aunt's place since I am thoroughly irresponsible and might just run amok here :P. So I shall blog next year again maybe.

NEXXXXXXXXXXXT
I realised that last year this time i was having a holiday of note in India. Some of the more noteworthy pics. I was in Jaipur now, then it was Agra, then it was back to Dehli (started off in Mumbai), then back to Mumbai, then it was a cruise to Goa, then back to Mumbai, then it was Cochin, Kerala, then Bangalore, then Goa, then we hit the village (and it was awesome, mostly cos we had proper showers :P)then it was back to Mumbai and then back to SA.

Soooo in a nutshell that's what's been happening.

THE END
*applause**cheering**flowers**curtsies**bows**blows kisses**waves**curtains*
rah*

(PS this post is sort of dedicated to Fatima/Bella :))

The Chronicles Turn 1...

2006-11-15T23:20:00.000+02:00

This is how it all began and yes, I know I'm not the most avid or regular poster, but I do have a few other stuff to do with my life too. And I'm feeling awful that I missed my blog's birthday which for some reason I thought was around the 20th-ish.

Anyway, it is with much amusement that I find that due to my recent non-postingness spree, my traffic's been sort of dead, no suprise hey lol. Kinda come full circle from when I started this blog on a very bored, sudden whim, no thought, head first jump and then I got stuck with it.I never expected anyone to read it, let alone have it appear on Google noggal (*sigh* you know you're geek when you measure your success by your appearances on Google hey?). Don't believe me? Go ahead...type "Raging Mobsters" in and see :P. It was just supposed to be meaningless, arb bits here and there and what do you know, now I actually have people telling me to update. Which I should and which I could, but damnit people, don't turn blogging into a job.Blaaaaahness.

Well in order to say a great big happy birthday to my very own symbol of l33tness. I shall stick a picture in right here:

And in typical kitsch 1st year birthday party style, it's all blog-geek themed too.Hey wait, I got a new complaint *headbangs* first year birthday parties are such an idiotic thing to do, a complete Blaaaaahnian splurge on a brat that's usually screaming and miserable, but that's another story. No, no, no Chronicles, you're not a brat, I was referring to OTHER people's children, not you.

Oi, I'm not so delayed... I saw Tuesday 15th November and thought since today's Wednesday...blaaaaah, so I'm not the most responsible blogger on the planet *shrugs*.
To all of you who take the time to read my verbose ramblings, thanks, hope it's worth the read in some way or the other.

une reine_Lestat très heureuse
rah*

We interrupt the Chronicles for a quick...

2006-11-11T22:08:00.000+02:00

Friend of mine alerted me to this, it's really beautiful. Big up to the SA boys for teaching this crazy world a thing or two. I've had the pleasure of chatting to these guys and they're really lovely. Check the T-shirt out, talk about being subversive and plugging SA wherever you can (which they do).

I will have my say on the Live issue, and the PW issue, and the stalker issue. Bear with me, lots of marking and other such stuff to do...been busy, but I'm alive and Blaaaaahnia is still in a state of despotic stupidity. Ya so to make up for my absence I'm treating you guys to a born and bred SA band Just Jinjer- In his Name. Enjoy!!! And continue to support SA music, we're a very talented nation.

brb(few more days, Indian time, give or take)

rah*
:)

Coming soon to the Chronicles...

2006-10-30T13:12:00.000+02:00

The treatise on the LIVE experience(exceptionally non-Blaaaaah). Well that and queen_Lestat pontificates on being a blog stalker/creep...

Hold on...

The freak will have her say
rah*

PS... Dear readers... kindly read the comments on the previous post to this one(the Nobel in Literature one)

And the Nobel in Literature goes to...

2006-10-15T20:45:00.000+02:00

...queen_Lestat, for her remarkable Chronicles of Blaaaaahnia, a surreal look at the life and times of the retards of the world. Most of the chief protagonists hail from the land of Blaaaaahdium where the meaning of normal, decent behaviour and attitudes is completely forgotten.... *jhhhwwwiiinng goes the end of the film reel*

Nah just joking, the nonsense which I type here and which A-HEM is carefully monitored apparently by people who I'm not really sure should be reading this, isn't Nobel worthy, hell some of it lol isn't even blog worthy. But today's a very important day of the year for me. Today the Nobel Prize for Literature was awarded to Orhan Pamuk, a Turkish novelist. Last year's was won by Harold Pinter, famous in literary and drama circles for the "Pinter pause". Anyway it seems as though the trend is to make anti-government comments and that'll get you into an honourable mention into the Nobel offices at least.

His writing reflects and interesting mix between east and west. The Western cultural reality with which the world is faced largely in the form of globalisation and the Eastern search for a spiritual and human side to life merges effortlessly in his writing, but at times the strain and the tussle for supremacy between the two is evident. Very post modern in his tussles between different ideological poles.

I've read Snow and My Name is Red. I enjoyed Snow tremendously, it's the story of trying to resolve traditional and religious beliefs with that of a fastly Westernising world. It is a story of a state which makes wearing hijaab (especially scarves) to university illegal.This of course starts a whole moral debate, blah blah blah, good read though My name is Red is a beautifully written mystery set in the Ottoman......

Rabooobee, Raboobee, Ofedise Raboobee

2006-10-05T19:45:00.000+02:00

All South African Kids of a certain age will remember that tune. To everyone else, when we were kids back in the "Old"(Apartheid) South Africa we were terribly short of TV programmes. I still have a mental block/negative attitude towards Tuesdays and Thursdays cos that was when the Afrikaans programmes were on. Anyway we used to have simulcast tv, basically when your show came on, you pulled out a radio and listened to the English dialogue on the radio while you watched on tv. Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place, I *THINK* 21 Jump Street too were like this, but so was an animated version of Spiderman. Yeah, it was one of the few shows on tv in one of the African Vernaculars, if I'm not mistaken I think it's SeSotho. Annnnnyhooo, the title of this blog's from there. Spidermaaaaan, Spidermaaaaan is Raboobee, Rabobeee. lol, God at least we've got satellite/cable now(everyone except me, this requires another blog called Dude, where's my DSTV) and one free to air non- state channel. Blaaaaahness, somehow I thought that'd be easier than having an obscure Milton-esque link with a topic like On her Weirdness. I digress, as per our usual agreement....

Like I've expounded in one of my previous posts, Ramadaan brings with it, added sleep stress to an already fatigued insomniac. So now that my pattern's pretty much screwed up, the other day I was staring at the ceiling and I head summing rustle. Not unusual because my window literally opens into a tree, see below:

So normal people would assume that it's trees moving about or birds or crickets or vampires or anything that should normally be out and about at night. Ok, now I realise this is confusing, ok cancel that. Now think back to BEFORE the rustling.

About a two weeks ago there was a biggish spider on my curtain(about 3-4cm across).Now, I'm not skrik(scared) of the buggers or anything that crawls(rodents I'm not too fond of, Rhodents I'm on good terms with ;p. And cats, can't stand the creatures.) So I left the spider in it's place, after all it wasn't doing anything to me. I figured it probably came in through the window, and so it shall find it's way out again. Spider was duly forgotten about, a few days later I see another one in the same vacinity. This one was smaller, but of the same species. Now I freaked out slightly cos I thought, what if husband and wife spidey were house-hunting along the tree branch. What if they popped into my room and decided the neighbourhood was good. I mean spiders living it up with a goth-type, perfect company. Then I was late for campus and didn't bother about it at all.

Now we get to the point above where I was lying in bed listening to rustles. Now I start thinking(in TYPICAL me fashion), what if the spiders are breeding here. What if the rustle is the kid's wedding, what if there's a sick spider party(I'm loathe to use the word orgy here cos I don't need to seem anymore deviant than I already am :)) happening. Do they KNOW what birth control is? Then I'm convinced I'm hearing things crawl on the walls. So I sit there and I wonder, if the first one was 3-4cm, roughly how big would Shelob be in relation to me if hobbits are remarkably smaller than us? DO I HAVE SHELOB IN MY ROOM???!!! OMGOMGOMGOMG!!! Sooooo, now the rustling is getting louder. I would make such a great horror-film director. Another topic though. I'm now tempted to switch on my lights, but I was 1) too lazy and 2) the light switch was near the sighting zone. And if the little spideywideys don't know my hand's going into "their" territory and bite me, Lord knows what will happen, cos I have an allergen count of 714(I kid you not, normal people are 0-25, 27 is abnormal so yeah...say it loud FREEEEEEEEEEAKAZOID).

Instead I sit in bed, take my cell phone and press menu button repeatedly, in order to generate some light. And I'm scouring the walls with this light. And suddenly I hear Galadriel's(Cate Blanchett's) voice saying "And for you Frodo Baggins, I give to you our brightest star, Earendil, it will guide you in your darkest hour and strike fear in the hearts' of your enemies, use it wisely...."(or summing like that)....

It took me a good 10 minutes before I realised I was NOT in Middle Earth aka World of Arda aka Ea. Neither was I Frodo Baggins. Neither was my phone the Phial filled with the Light of Earendil. Neither was my room Shelob's Lair at Cirith Ungol (Cirith is height or steps or pass summing to that effect and Ungol is Spider in the Lotr lingos<-- your arb fact of the day sponsored by moi).

I dunno whether it's the lack of sleep or have I finally tipped over the edge?

"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;
Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.
"There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin,
And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"
Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said,
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"

^^^ Remember that? Mary Howitt wrote that in 18someodd 30-ish I think *googles* 1829 to be exact. The Poem the Spider and the Fly.

Les araignées sont partout
they're coming...
rah*

Another Birthday

2006-10-04T20:37:00.000+02:00

Happy Birthday Anne Rice...
Born 1941, without you, well well well... where would vampires be? Where would I get my nick from? Anyway lady,if you ever google me and stumble this way :P, hope you enjoyed it...

Actually, without you I'd be solely Elvish, hmmmm...can never decide which side of the fantasy fence I sit.

Wafting through the online Savage Garden
rah*

Party Time Again

2006-09-27T14:10:00.000+02:00

Happy Birthday google!!!!!!

I love you and I hope you're around for the rest of my life. You've grown up so fast. *sniff*. I've seen and visited you nearly everyday for the last 8 years.Your organisation and logical approach to life has made the net soooo much more appealing. You kick every other SE's ass.*siiiiiiiiiiiiiigggh* And you're sooo much better looking than the others too.

OMFW...I'm such a geek...

The little voice says "rahtergeekthanBlaaaaahnian"
rah*

Say it isn't sooooooooo, Tell me it's a liiiiiiie

2006-09-24T19:43:00.000+02:00

So this very good friend of mine sends me the following email. It's prefaced by him with the words, "When I looked at this...somehow...your name just sprung to mind". I laughed, but then I wondered if I should be insulted. However I do know that NOTHING Steve McQueen says can really be taken seriously, unless it's really serious. Aaaah well... here goes...

I reckon she's kinda cute actually. Well I'd rather be the Chainsaw Massacre Girl than say Paris Hilton/Britney Spears/Jessica "Dikker Kop than most" Simpson/and her sibling whatever her name is for example.

Yeah so it's Ramadaan again, all the best to all, and the usual yada yada...

It is that time of the year when my infinite insomnia will take root again. My "vampiricness" shows again in the form of me being more or less incapable of sleep during the night, but I am able to sleep with more ease during the day. Well at any rate my pathetic sleep patterns get totally messed up, but I survive.

And because of me and my living on the edge of almost sleeping and then not, my irritation levels are expected to be quite high, now couple that with not eating, not sleeping and desperately trying to inculcate a sense of deep sprituality and the works. I think being "cranky" is a bit of an understatement so I ask you all ( very humbly) to pray that my inner patience works well this month. Otherwise da da da daaa *Jaws OST*...

God Save the retards and reprobates I'm surrounded by...

I'm thinking Chainsaw Massacre girl's not quite me though, I think I'm infinitely more Pandora ripping the heart out and drinking from it as one would from a cup. Or Pandora and that Blood Fountain scene with that charo Despot. Maaaaaaaaaaarius, wherefore art thou Maaaaaaaaaaarius. Yeah, well now she ignores him anyway cos she thinks the asshole factor's pretty high in him. Wisdom of hindsight and the power of being a sulky femaley-type. And I'm thinking, now that everyone; besides maybe the wonderfully wise Lobelia's student, bazh, dee, zayzay, and Ree ;is thoroughly confused. So I'll shut up now.

Damn I got that "Jan Pierewit" song stuck in my head. Say with me WTF?! The folk songs/ nursery rhymes of the Blaaaaahnians of note. O yes I wanted to find out also, I've got a .wma thingy how do I put it up here? Any ideas? Yes, I know that sounds techno twat deluxe but I mean I read books not PC manuals ;p

Mishmashgobbledegookyadayadatrainsmashw00t!
rah*

I'm Alive

2006-09-15T10:40:00.000+02:00

Yes I am... I've just had a bought of laryngitis and other such stuff which I think I've contracted from the Vampire cast. IT ROCKED so completely!!! Anyway my mind is still a bit fogged with anti-biotics and things so to all of you in the "virtual community" as Bilal puts it, I will TRY to Johari's window you all.

Yes, TheChronicles have waned for a bit because that which I shamelessly, and tactless self marketed below takes some time to get up and running. So this isn't really a post again, it's a spin off from saaleha's. Disgustingly unoriginal yes I know but here goes:

>Conventionality is not morality. Self-righteousness is not religion.
>hatchings+john eppel
>mxit how to reserve
>is mxit bad for you
>lily munster
>I'm elvish
>Ed Kowalczyk Anti semitic top (yes I laughed my ass off at that)
>Vampyre
>mulder and scully
>fucktards
>mxit v 5
>harvard method
>intellectual repartee
>raging mobsters
>new age avatar of the mind
>death defying feat
>self marketing ...

bis meine Gesundheit zurückgeht (you'd think that even though I don't have much of a voice I'd still be able to type but *siiiiiiiiigh*)
rah*

Hang on...

2006-08-30T15:50:00.000+02:00

Genius that I am set the alarm off for one day earlier, it's tomorrow, so for those that didn't get me anything yet, you've still got some time to hit the stores :P

If not...exclusive books vouchers will work just as well :D

So ladies and gentlemen, what we have learnt here today is that queen_Lestat is DEFINITELY not from Cape Town. Her time keeping skills prove otherwise. This is not the first time I've done this.I once showed up for an exam a whole day earlier, was wondering where all the humanities looking people were.I was sitting in a hall waiting for a Second Year Public Administration and that my dear, dear people is a faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar cry from The Modern Novel.

So yeah, that post down there acually belongs up there ^.

byez0rz
rah*

HEY EVERYONE!!!!!!!

2006-08-30T10:46:00.000+02:00

Happy World Blog day :)

read it on wiki i think a while back, had a reminder set.LUCKILY cos I'd forgotten. It rang today...

Stop!!! Read this...

2006-08-29T18:43:00.000+02:00

...it's brilliant. Have a read, drop me a comment. Very interesting discussion here.

Arb-ed Struggle

2006-08-28T21:12:00.000+02:00

Okay, so after a few near misses as posts, I think I'll have my say on something or the other. As I type now, I'm not really sure on what, but keep reading anyway. I might shock you/myself by saying something remotely intelligent for a change.

Sooooo...whatcha doing? Bleh...that's just sad to blog like that. I really can handle that, doesn't bother me in the least. What really irks me(seems like we have a rant for lift off now peoples)is when you meet these Blaaaaahnian's of the highest class of Plebian society who cannot sustain a conversation and who CONTINUOSLY say "So otherwise what's happening?" *dies*. I believe there's two possible causes of this. 1) They (usually)don't read or retain information in order to make connections between things. 2) They do not have a very good vocabulary(see above) so it is difficult to express themselves.Make that 3 reasons. 3) They're really boring and not interesting and have lint for brains because they do not have many interests or even a world view/frame of reference from which to speak. Now before everyone gets all hyper. If you use the above phrase, what I say does not necessarily apply to you. If you use that phrase more than three times in ten minutes, it might just. If so, pick up a book something which'll make you think a bit. Off the cuff, I'll recommend Aldous Huxley's Brave New World.

Whoooohooooo!!!! I managed to mention an author and a title without launching into a lecture on it. I IMPROVETH!! Yeah but anyway that was just a random rant about people who have nothing to say and no way of saying it but instead of leaving and sparing you the trauma, they stick around, make themselves products of their own redunancy and make it extremely painful for everyone. FFS how many more times are you expected to respond and say "NOTHING MUCH..." lol blaaaaahness.

Ohlrighty then *Jim Carrey grin* moving along...
The play's looking good, besides the fact that at some point in the last few days quite a few Vampires and Raging Mobsters have come down with some laryngitis. ^^ Blatant exxxxxxxxaggeration, but hey there's been some. DO NOT PANIC though!!! "Everything's gonna be alright, everything's gonna be ok"(Infi, that was for you :) ) Well the play's looking pretty good. Please do come, tickets are R35 pay at the door if you phone in to book. There might be some still on sale at the doors to the Lier, but Inklings' plays sell out really fast, so no guarantees there. ooo!!Yes, Ree a queen in her own right's got the details for us below....taaa-daah...

And now blogger screws me over and won't upload. O well, you'll have to wait for that then.

And now the amazing queen_Lestat will perform a death defying feat of self marketing (blame the k-man for it, he said AND I QUOTE "self advertising rocks"). I can almost guarantee that this sentence will be replaced tomorrow when I wonder what on earth I was thinking. It's kind of like having neon lights advertising your favourite, secluded spot on the beach. *flash,flash* see me, see me...get it? (semi pun yeah)

Aufenthaltsafe
rah*

^^^That was what you were waiting for up there somewhere

Clandestine Geniuses ???

2006-08-26T22:48:00.000+02:00

Why some of us could be....

lol yeah it's a long shot for a lot of Blaaaaahnians, but it's worth a try I guess?

rah*

PS still wondering? try the ??? :)

This Doesn't Qualify as a Post (Again...)

2006-08-26T20:35:00.000+02:00

Sorry, just found this on my pc now. Someone emailed it to me years and years ago as a word doc, trying to locate the site it's at the moment. Had a laugh. Please note that I'm not this bad. I'm quite a happy chappy generally. Here goes...

1.You pay 6 bucks for cigarettes that match your outfit.
2.You wear sunglasses in the produce department at night.
3.You wear long, velvet coats in the middle of summer.
4.You buy $15 fishnets and rip them on purpose.
5.Your combat boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world child for two years.
6.The shade of powder you wear is called "Sheet Of Paper."
7.You use black cotton balls.
8.You fashion your eyeliner after a culture that's been dead over 2000 years.
9.You paint your fingernails black.
10.You don't paint my nails black... you bash them with a hammer.
11.Your purse is large, square and metal.
12.The purse has scratches from being used in a fight.
13.It has scratches from being kicked on the dance floor.
14.This is the reason it was scratched in a fight.
15.You could easily blow $500 in a Halloween store.
16.You could spend all $500 on just make up.
17.You avoid fights because it might smudge your make up.
18.The club you frequent has concocted an original drink called "The Vampire's Kiss."
19.You wake up still drunk at 3 in the afternoon with anonymous black lipstick on our face.
20.You go to Denny's at 5 in the morning and think, "These are my people."
21.People can't tell whether you're searching for a missing contact or dancing.
22.You can't even tell whether you're looking for a missing contact or dancing.
23.The only day you feel normal is Halloween.
24.Friday the Thirteenth is your lucky day.
25.You don't know whether the person you're sleeping with is male or female until you're actually in bed with them.
26.You don't care.
27.You were rooting for the vampires in From Dusk Til Dawn, Lost Boys, etc.
28.In preschool, the only crayon you used was black.
29.The Count was your favorite Sesame Street character as a child.
30.You watch Sesame Street as an adult just to see The Count.
31.You can't decide whether Morticia Addams or Lily Munster is prettier.
32.You decide Wednesday blows them both away.
33.You think bats are "cute."
34.You think dead flowers are prettier than live ones.
35.You think anything dead is pretty.
36.You think blood is pretty.
37.You refer to your age in mortal years.
38.You give yourself the honorary title of Lord or Lady.
39.You know what a Malkavian is.
40.You know what a Malkavian is because you've been there, done that.
41.You have the T-shirt.
42.You dressed as The Crow for Halloween one year.
43.You have dressed as The Crow for Halloween the past few years.
44.You would willingly undergo cosmetic dental surgery.
45.You were disappointed to find out that American Gothic is a portrait of two farmers.
46.You claim the Chupacabra is a friend/relative of yours.
47.You own a hearse.
48.You own a hearse and don't work in a funeral parlor.
49.You keep a coffin in the back as "decoration."
50.You keep a coffin in the back as a bed.
51.You think of the hearse as the "family car."
52.You think heresy is a religion.
53.You claim heresy as your religion.
54.You own a rosary that you wear.
55.You own many rosaries that you wear.
56.You own a glow-in-the-dark rosary that alternates between your neck and the reaview mirror in your car.
57.Christians accost you with pamphlets on the street frequently.
58.Jehovah's Witnesses accost you with pamphlets on the street frequently.
59.You accost Christians with pamphlets on the street.
60.Satanists just look at you and smile.
61.You laugh hysterically during those Church Of Latter-Day Saints commercials.
62.You call for the free Bible anyway.
63.You take great pleasure in vandalizing said Bible after waiting impatiently by your mailbox for 4-6 weeks.
64.You stop vandalizing the Bible momentarily to look up Psalm 69.
65.In your honest opinion, the image of Jesus ruins the beauty and natural fluidity of the cross.
66.Whenever you knock on somebody's door they give you candy.
67.You wish to name your first born Lestat.
68.You plan to name your first born after any Anne Rice character.
69.You didn't know they were characters.
70.You argue on whether Poppy Z. Brite or Anne Rice has the more realistic view on vampires.
71.You can debate both sides of that argument.
72.You've participated in one of those "Do you think Tom Cruise was good as Lestat?" conversations.
73.You've started one of those conversations.
74.You saw Valor on the street, you would throw your large, metal purse at him.
75.You and your friends enjoy congregating in a local graveyard.
76.No one you know is buried there.
77.You and your friends take lengthy drives to visit non-local graveyards.
78.You take pictures of the gravestones while reciting Oscar Wylde or singing "Cemetry Gates" by The Smiths.
79.You know the words to "Cemetry Gates" by The Smiths.
80.You know who The Smiths are.
81.You can reminisce through all 4 locations of The Kitchen Club and 2 of The Church.
82.You put on The Wake and practice dancing in front of the mirror.
83.You practice with your own personal strobe and blacklight.
84.You are too poor to afford either and stole the lights off the Christmas tree.
85.You are happy when no one has ever heard of your favorite band.
86.When someone else "discovers" you're favorite band, you find another favorite band.
87.You own 16 or more Cleopatra CD's.
88.You own even 1 Projekt CD.
89.Your favorite poem is "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe.
90.Your favorite poem is "Metamorphosis of a Vampire" by Charles Baudelaire.
91.You spell Vampire either Vampyre or Vamphyre.
92.You refer to others as "The Normals".
93.You refer to your leather-clad brethren as "Those Industrialites" or "Rivet-heads."
94.You go to South Beach, but have never seen the ocean.
95.Your boyfriend complains that his ribs just don't stick out the way they used to.
96.Your girlfriend complains that you look better in her black, velvet skirt than she does.
97.You've been with your significant other for over a year and still wonder what they look like without make up.
98.You and your boyfriend fight over make up.
99.You decide to get matching his/hers make up caddies to separate your make up.
100.You smudge your lipstick on purpose to look like Robert Smith.
101.You eat those limited edition pop-tarts just because they have bats on them.
102.You save them because Hey!...they're limited edition.
103.The people in the grocery store have refused to sell you any cereal other than Count Chocula.
104.People ask you to autograph boxes of Count Chocula.
105.You know what Renfield's Disease is.
106.You have Renfield's Disease.
107.Throw a Black Valentine Day party.
108.You decorate your Christmas Tree with crows and black ribbon.
109.You wear a mourning veil to your best friends wedding.
110.All her bride maids wear black.
111.All your living friends take anti-depressants or at least pretend too.
112.You have taken anything on this list personally.

See number’s 27-40, 45, 67-8, 70-73,78, 80, 85, 88-92, 105, 107,112. Have a cheap laugh at my expense.

rah*

This Doesn't Qualify as a Post

2006-08-25T09:50:00.000+02:00

You know you are a MXIT addict when:

Any of this stuff sound familiar? Be afraid…

1.You always carry a charger with you coz mxit vriet your battery.

2.You type faster on your phone than you do on your computer.

3.You actually say "lol" wen speaking to people.

4.Your friends phone you to find out if you okay because you havnt been online all day.

5.A "please call me"= meet me on mxit.

6.You forgot how to send an sms.

7.You can drive and mxit, eat and mxit, bath and mxit, study and mxit...

8.You have more than 30 contacts.

9.You use mxit as a verb and not as a noun.

10."Can I have your contact" is your standard pick-up line

11."knu" is your standard response to "hey hw u"

12.You never spend more than R30 aitime a month, and most of it goes to sending pics.

13.The person you would most like to chat to right now is called "sexybabe" or "hothunk" on your mxit.

14.You get a rush of adrenaline wen you hear that you got a new invitation.

15.You get depressed because sum1 isnt chatting to you.

16.You get depressed because sum1 is taking long to reply.

17.You get depressed because sum1 is sending you one word answers

18.You really laugh out loud wen reading a message.

19.Your parents have said anything along the lines of "if you spend as much time with your books as you do on your phone…"

20.You met your bf/gf on mxit.

21.You have a mxit bf/gf.

22.You always saying mxit is boring, but you cant help logging on anyway.

23.You get a weird lonely, lost, sad feeling when you don't have airtime to log on.

24.You get that same feeling when your charger is laying at home and your battery on 1 bar.

25. You send an sms during off-peak time and you still sig because you think that
you couldv'e f@#!en used the same amount of airtime to chat for an entire day.

26. Your phone is broken and you downloaded your Mxit on your daddy's phone.

27.You chat on your sister/brother's Mxit because your phone is broken and
they're too damn selfish to let you download yours onto their phone.

28.You chat to someone on Mxit even when you're sitting next to that person.

29.You curse the phenomenon called "Dc".

30.You feel triumphant when that person you likes greets you first, especially
when you're someone who waits for people to greet them

31.You greet that person first because you're going crazy seeing their name
online and you're not the one occupying their time.

32. You hide your phone under your pillow wenever your mommy enters your room

33. The following news excites you: VERSION 5 HAS JUST BEEN RELEASED!!!!

^^^ Thanks to Malakul Maut for that. I've spammed everyone with it already, yes I know. And yet I still persist in putting this up. I'm pretty sure that this email's a variation on the old you know you're a net junkie when... Someone please confirm or deny that. Anyway this anti-post's up now because I think I might be an e-soapbox orator and whip up some thoughts on it. Damn, I shouldn't do that, you're all still hanging on for the Highveld one, the James Joyce one too.

I think I have work to do now
rah*

Lest we forget...

2006-08-19T23:15:00.000+02:00

God listens to all of us, we just need to know what to ask for. This, for me, is my personal prayer for the week ahead.(Read below, all the rants on the stupidity I'm surrounded by.)

Fox Mulder...again

2006-08-17T23:10:00.000+02:00

I have to say, I was shocked this week when I realised David Duchovny's 46. Yes when the x-files started he was 34. Anyway, Fox Mulder rocketh, D.D's kinda blaaaaah on his own. This is an example(click pic on the right hand side to enlarge) of what age combined with bad make up, non flattering lighting and muk en druk photography cause: the result is not very flattering

Upon her return...The editor speaks

2006-08-17T21:29:00.001+02:00

I'm in the middle of season 3 and I haven't watched any X- Files since Saturday. I've got a hellava lot of marking to do, which I'm not really interested in doing but I have to do it by this weekend at least. I went to Wits today. I cannot handle incompetence and it's the one thing Wits seems pretty adept at. I say this because our admin is superior. At least our lot sticks to the same lies.

As i get to the main gate the atrocious spelling hits you. Yes they're having SRC elections on all their campuSSes.Blaaaaah.I will scan one of their scholarship application forms handed to you with your application forms for those errors.They'd like you to state your "adress" and "engineerin" students get preference and there will be "discipPlinary" action. It's disgustingly unprofesssional. Needless to say I was slightly irritated at having my calls terminated from switchboard so many times. Emails not replied to since April etc etc, so I just decided to drive down. The spelling besides being disgusting, was just the cherry on the top of the incompetent cake.Incorrect spelling and grammar drives me insane. (Yes Bazh, I can just see and hear Dee going "MonicaMonicaMonica, where's the little neurotic MONICA!!!" ;p)

And what annoys me even more is that the admin and staff etc have this attitude of being the be all and end all of tertiary education. As if other universities cannot compare and worse still as if your previous degrees from other institutions mean squat. Well you know what here's a nice big _|_ (up yours[for the l33t sp34k challenged]).

Ok my bitching and moaning and random sorry excuse for a blog's done. However I need to do a bit of free advertising here. Anyone interested in coming for our amateur, albeit excellent, production, of Terry Pratchett's Carpe Jugulum? (The vampire play I was so excited about.) As far as I know it's on the 31st-2/3 September (will check about the 3rd though) at the Lier Theatre on the Main Campus(Lynwood Road) of the University of Pretoria , there'll be a Saturday afternoon show as well. Tickets are R35,(proceeds to the Inklings, and we make good use of it on fairly noble literature stuffs) and selling fast. There MIGHT be some available at the door, but if anyone's interested I could put your names down as a to-pay-reserve-seat thingy.*siiiiiigh* you might be so fortunate as to witness me, moi,ich running about doing my bit in vampire gear.

Apparently that's me in everyday clothes, but people can be so mean :(. Just cos I'm quiet and creepy and have frock coats and ONE SINGLE Victorian cameo brooch thing, and ruffled shirts long black stuff andandand.... I'm half elven too you know...

Ich komme zurück
rah*

Look Ma!!!! A new Post

2006-08-06T22:33:00.000+02:00

Yes this is a new post. I need to declare to the world why this last week was such an amazing one. I know there were several reasons but the main two that I remember now are that I got confirmation of the Live to SA tour dates which I've been waiting for since I first heard the rumours in about March or thereabouts. But yes the Live thing and AND my order arrived all nine seasons of the x files. Collectors box sets with special dvd-rom games and interviews and documentaries etc.

So in case you've been wondering where I am/was I am/was reliving the last 9 years of Friday nights. Yes I was one of those who watched it with a tin foil hat on. I never missed a single episode from the time it hit SA tv in 1995 up until the time it ended in about 2002/3. I get this fuzzy feeling everytime I see young people wearing Doc Marten boots. I love seeing everyone looking grunged up. Seth Green, Constance Zimmer and co all before they were famous.

I've rekindled my first crush, yes I am unafraid to say it was Special Agent Fox Mulder of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. He's so insane trying to portray this sane exterior all the time. His knowledge of myth and legend and anthropology is astounding. His mind makes connections faster than Telkom's broadband packages(of which I'm sure he'll uncover the conspiracy there).And he's got such lovely hair. Sorry, if you think that's bad ask the k-man, poor guy's had to listen to this x-phile all week.

oooooo!!! yes I forgot this little bit of trivia which I remembered for a long time and then forgot and now remembered again. Dana Scully's birthday (character) is on the 23 February. Guess when your queen was born? woooooohhhhoooo you guessed it. Yes so now that you all know, I'd like Fox Mulder in quarantine please. I only wanna stare. s'trues bob. After that the thrill will be over, then he can go away again. I still maintain that he'd be a wonderful person to talk to. Interesting and witty, clever, articulate....*siiiiiiiiiiiiiggh* (see above for apology)

The Lone Gunmen rock. They're totally amazing. I think their internet comment was probably the first ever reference to this great tool in popular culture. Mulder and Scully in season 2 are uber big on email and internet already. Guess that's why it always appealed to geeks like me. Anyway here's some (approximated) classic line's from the x files.

In the first episode about Tooms:
Mulder "what is this stuff"
Scully "it looks like bile?"
Mulder *flicks fingers* "please tell me how to get rid of this without betraying my cool and calm exterior"

Stuck in the Arctic investigating deaths by some weird disease, they decide to strip and examine everyone in the compound for symptoms
Mulder"Before anyone passes any form of judgement let me just remind you all that we are in the arctic" *unzips*

ok and then when Scully's abducted
Frohike "Is the hot agent Scully around"
Mulder "You know Frohike,it's men like you who give perverts a bad name"

then when examining some video footage
Mulder "whatever's on that tape, it's not mine"
Scully "ok no problem I put it right back in that draw there with all the other tapes that aren't yours"

Aggh I love this series, absolutely do. So if I'm not around much, please forgive me, but I do have nine years of tv history to watch. O yes and the x files had 3 main characters, Mulder, Scully and the music.My office walls have long been adorned with similar x files items, pics etc. Student's must think I'm a raving lunatic, which I probably am but anyway... I suddenly feel the urge to go and make myself another tin foil hat. I remember my mother complaining about it being such a waste of foil. But yeah anyway my mind's free now :P.

If you ask me if I believe in the existence of extra terrestrial life. I would without a doubt say why not? It's pretty arrogant for us to assume we're the only ones around here (one of the people who worked on the x files said that too I think). Allah is "Lord of the worlds". Plural lends a bit for possibilites I'm sure. So in the words of the poster on the wall of hotty Fox Mulder "I want to believe".(I love complicated sentences, really gets the synapses firing doesn't it?)

The Truth is Out There
The X-Phile
rah*

I think a general wtf?! works well as a title here

2006-07-27T14:45:00.000+02:00

As foretold by David Icke...

...the invasion of the lizards and human blood drinking shape-shifters has come to pass.

It's over

2006-07-25T21:56:00.000+02:00

I apologise (to anyone who might've wanted to attend) for not posting this earlier. But I was busy. And although I dearly do love the Arts, I do think the plight of the Palestinians and Lebanese is more important than Krekvars.

Krekvars is our annual drama festival. It's nowhere near as huge or as grand as Grahamstown. It's still a baby festival. Most of the stuff is amateur productions written, directed and produced by the Drama Students. Now UP is a GREAT university. Too bad about the Blaaaaahnians from Blaaaaahdium messing it up with their petty minds, narrow minded views, bitchiness, judgemental attitudes and general sense of Blaaaaahness.(They single handedly manage to kill it for me.) Anyway the quality of research and education is good and UP notoriously doesn't market itself well enough. Probably out of a fear of the Deluge of Dumbness from all quarters deciding to pour in some more. Who knows. But our admin is jacked up and it's almost a total pleasure to deal with the tannies there.We're a well oiled, efficient machine. Our Humanities faculty is the largest in the country as well as one of the better funded ones too. SCORE!!!!!!!!! for teh_post-grads.

I encouraged my Communication for Engineers students (yes the irony of the course title has struck me many times) to go. And I think they came back scarred, the two that did go. Now they really think Humanities students are up to crap.hahahhaha.

So I saw a couple of plays (which have to be 45 mins long so as to fit between lecture times) and reviewed them, just as my friend Andrea (who was putting together the daily review magazine)asked: between 50-100 words. i R rock, said everything I wanted to say in 75 words. cool hey?

Arrggh so now Krekvars's over and it feels like the year's being whittled away again. And I'm running out of options to stay on (any)campus for much longer now :(. But since theatre's in my blood (literally) and I've been intermittently on stage since circa 4/5 yrs old. I am quite a dramatic person anyway (in case you didn't notice). Not a drama queen though, just dramatic and possibly theatrical in my never ending madness. So the Inklings (creative writing society) which our CEO (Mrs N)terms "the fight, bite and write club", are putting on another play after the totally fantastic take on Oliver Goldsmith's She Stoops to Conquer. For the benefit of the Second years.And guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat!!!!!!! It's gonna be a VAMPIRE play. Terry Pratchett's Carpe Jugulum. YAYAYAYAYAYAYYAY!!!!!!!!. One of my favourite authors and favourite subjects combined. Our plays rock cos for additional cast members we rope lecturers in. They're suprisingly game, because just as John Eppel in Hatchings points out something to the effect that "English Departments attract anarchists of all sorts" (meeeeeeeeeeeeeh lol)dunno if I quoted that correctly.

*insert some sort of cohesive conclusion here*

Your one stop shop for arb-random-nonsense
rah*

We woke up, to war...

2006-07-23T17:51:00.000+02:00

TheChroniclesofBlaaaaahnia was never meant to be about politics. I had designs of putting all of my thoughts of that nature onto another forum. But alas, I feel I must have my say on this. Last weekend or the weekend before, we woke up and another war had broken out. We were all groggy-eyed and a post- Sharon government, trying to look like they mean business are well at work murdering people in neighbouring Lebanon, how very intelligent to start WWIII over Sunday breakfast, I might add.

Granted the Middle East isn’t the most politically stable area on earth and there’ve been cross border raids for years. But is the life of one Israeli soldier captured worth more than the estimated 1000 Lebanese and Muslim lives lost? Is being killed and captured not part of a soldier’s job description in the first place? It’s definitely not in a civilian’s job description to be bombed by US sponsored Israeli weaponry in your own home. Something’s awry and we all know that governments have wars to detract attention from the real deal at home. And now according to a New York Times Report it seems as though there is not going to be an end to all of this anytime soon.

Israel attacks “Hizbollah Targets” such as schools, airports, hospitals etc. And somehow or the other this is regarded as “Israel’s right to defend herself” and not as terrorist activity which Muslims are accused of when they dress as Muslims and have a birthday party together. The bottom line is that this whole business is just pure arrogance. There’s arrogance on the part of Israel knowing full well that they’ve got the US backing them regardless and arrogance on the part of the Arabs who won’t give up without a fight or unite or insist on talks. (Talks which never seem to see things from their side anyway.) Sometimes I really think that we are“nothing but a shadow, a faceless generation, devoid of love…”

I support the Palestinian Muslims and Christians because they do live in appalling poverty, misery and under extreme oppression meted out to them by Israel. This is not an anti- Semitic statement at all. The Word semitic encompasses and implies Arab as well. Not all Jews are Zionists the same way not all Afrikaaners are AWB members. Jews like Muslims and Christians are As-hab Ul Kitaab (People of the Book).Zionism is not a religion.It's a political and nationalist ideology that is flawed and based on warped logic, just like how Apartheid was constructed. I understand the desperation which drives the Palestinians to fight for their land, their people and their cause. But I do not understand war. Killing people on both sides will not make the situation better. Human Life is human life. The same righteousness and God we’re all fighting for is Merciful and will judge each individual accordingly. The same Satan we’re fighting against is the same Satan encouraging us to fight supposedly in the Name of God. God doesn't ask us to fight for Him. If He wanted to he'd smite us all off the face of this earth. God asks us to show gratitude for the multitude of favours He's bestwoed on us.I agree completely with Ed and Live again “There’s nothing more Godless than a war”. People have become so desensitised and so lacking in humanity that this does not matter to both sides.

Each side views its fallen heroes as martyrs to the cause and each side is equally indoctrinated into the righteousness of their cause. The Lebanese should wake up and smell the kah-wa because this whole thing looks like a complete set-up to get Iran and Syria involved. And then Dubya can claim they’ve gone against some obscure clause in something or the other and invade, loot and plunder. And by the way

if it's ever leaked.Conspiracy theories aside….

How sick do people have to be to take the life of another human? How sick are you to teach innocent children to hate? How sick are you to allow children to believe that there is only one version of anything? How sick are you to teach children that your political ideology is more important than your ethical/religious one?

I’m not pasting these pictures because of sensitive readers etc but click and have a look and you tell me whether that’s warranted or not?

Right now I don’t even know if I’m making sense or not. All I know is what I feel and what I feel is that this is all completely unjust and iniquitous. Both sides should read Anne Rice’s Queen of the Damned. Akasha might’ve been onto something when she told Lestat the only way for the world to be safe, is to kill all the men and leave only a good few for breeding purposes. When the legacy of violence and subjugation and hate has been eradicated then she will allow the numbers to increase and the population to grow. And the world shall be at peace…. Apparently….

Seem's like nothing's changes since-

“Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one.”

“The world got smaller but the bombs got bigger…” how sad, how arrogant, how disrespectful, how narcissistic, how corrupt, how true- how humanly inhumane.

*sigh* such is the mark of the species you lot chose :P
The Elven-Vampyre
rah*

Reading History is not a good idea...

2006-07-21T11:27:00.000+02:00

...because you end up with a head full of details that no one actually cares about.Actually, only Blaaaaahnians don't give a damn and since I'm surrounded by them and I cannot infringe on their stupidity and tell them such things, I shall keep it for the virtual realm. Now seeing as though I'm a part-time Historian as well (never ending bundle of suprises aint I? :p), I've decided to share a little bit of random history.

Ernest Hemingway was born today in 1899. Puts him squarely into the Modernist literary bracket, although he started writing towards the end of it. I think he won a Nobel at some stage and a Pulitzer too. And like all great artists he also killed himself (when he was in his 60s I think). If you're looking for poetic writing you're not going to find it with him, cos his style was just to say things, he has practically adjective free writing. Yes, dear ones, he didn't write like your queen here does.lol. He wrote the book For Whom the Bell Tolls (title coming from John Donne of the metaphysical poets famous poem which has the lines "Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee". Donne also wrote the "no man is an island" poem. Starting to click now people?

Annnnnnyway on this day 21 July Neil Armstrong set foot on ze moon. He beat those damned Commies to it yeah, and he did it cos he's American and they're free and brave and they kicked the asses of those Unholy Reds... (And please do NOT comment and say "You know he heard the Azaan up there" cos, besides space being a vacuum, I promise you, I will lock you in a room with Aunty Bibi (neighbour/resident self-taught theoretician) and then you can have a discussion with her and the assortment of other theories of that ilk.)

Yep and that icon of recklessness and of the "Wild West" Jesse James robbed a train for the first time in History in 1873. He pulled an Ocean's 11 type move.His career prior to becoming an "outlaw" was as a guerilla/militia type for the Confederacy during the American Civil War. I remember when I was really young there was this thing on the news where they were gonna be exhuming his body to check that he really was dead and that it really was him buried there. Weird hey? That such a person can be so ingrained in popular culture/modern folklore that their legacy holds a 100 years after they're dead.

I wonder if the same's gonna happen to Kurt Cobain.... His file's never been closed and I just can't understand how come he hasn't joined Tupac and Elvis in that Pantheon of People who're still around, living it up by cleaning floors in cheap diners and motels in Middle America.

The Truth is Out There...
woooo hoooo hooo hooo hooo hooo *spine tingles*
^^^ Credits to Mark Snow
rah*

Rock On

2006-07-20T12:22:00.000+02:00

Happy Birthday to Carlos Santana born this day in 1947. Rock Legend.

He who so famously told groupies "I cannot do to your body what my music does to your soul... Good Night" *shuts door*"

In case you didn't know...

2006-07-18T22:49:00.000+02:00

This is so true

Thanks to "cujo" for that laugh...

w00t!!!Two posts in one night, I astound myself sometimes :)

nightnight
rah*

Should I? Shouldn't I?

2006-07-18T21:45:00.000+02:00

I'm being a fan. A fan as in the "bad" sense. I've listed Ed Kowalczyk's (of Live fame's) blog together with everyone else falling under my own version of Rice's "Coven of the Articulate" (See links on the sidebar, where it says "Coven of the Keyboard Scribblers" if you're still looking :)). Anyway they're my favourite band in the whole world, cos they don't sing about nonsense such as "bitches", "ho's", "crack","drive by shootings", or "my shoes, u spilt champagne on my shoes?", "I love you cos you're rich", or "I'm singing this cos someone else wrote it to appeal to the masses and I'm really trying the sincerity thing here" and neither do they dance in sync or have choreographed hand gestures. I've got this cd in my car with Live stuff from 1992-2002 and I've been listening to it for pretty much the last year or so. I've got other compilations of Live too. I own all the cds in CD form etc etc. Their lyrics make me think, and they're interesting from a Lit point of view too....

Anyway I'll shut up before I sound like an obsessed,psychotic groupie....(BTW for the uninitiated Blaaaaahnians they're Live pronounced as in aLIVE laaaaii-vve not Live as in Liv Tyler or as in I LIVE in a house. For those that know, sorry, you'll be surprised at what lurks out there.)

So this is where my "moral" should I/shouldn't I flip my lid dilemma comes in. I opened the blog on Firefox and Kowalczyk is spelt incorrectly. Must be a typo. It's on the heading thingy part when it's minimised or when you open a new tab. It's spelt as Kowalcyzk. It IS a typo. And I am merciful on typos but not really on people you just generally spell like crap. I edit for a part-time living. It just happens, that these errors pop up at me. I know an error on an Ed page is just the same as an error from a Blaaaaahnian. But people/students who send you(in your professional capacity) an email which reads like "me ws @ ur ofc 2dy bt nvr c d ltr il cme gt it 2mrw n ftch my assnmnt den 2 bt i 1td 2 no wen i cn rite d tst cs i gt anada tst d sme tym il cum by u 2mrw. Thnx Gd bliss frm *******"

WTF... there's no freaking vowels there. I keep telling the nitwits that they're free . VOWELS ARE FREE. And FFS I sure as hell don't want anyone let alone one of my students deciding to "cum by me". eeeeeeeewwwww man. L33t was cool at one stage in about 1998 and is still cool in some quarters when done with effect and style. But this butchering of language is uncalled for. And on top of it all. Which moron asks a lecturer(of a language noggal) for a favour and then writes like that. I seem to have gathered that they have a clash of sorts, I could be mistaken. It's like they're begging me to say no. They want me to make their lives miserable. They want me to lose it and go mental. They want to see me turn into Lurch from the Addamz family (and at around 1.7m+ tall I might just fit the part). They want me to turn into an Editing Zombie fighting the power of the bad language usage and staring blankly at their vile and vowel-less communication and gleaning meaning from it. I will not.

This is an irritation, and yes I will/could fill thousands of pages on this topic but I shall try to maintain some sanity and stuff. Now should I or shouldn't I let IT write the aegrotat? muahahahahhahahaha *evil laugh*

"Thnx Gd Bliss"
rah*

PS in all likelihood, I'll feel sorry and cave in. Bleh, it sucks having a conscience sometimes.
PPS at least the God aka Gd (could be good or goad bless? Ok i'm being facetious now)got a capital letter.

Splitting Hairs

2006-07-12T19:12:00.000+02:00

I have curly hair. Yeah, who'd have thought hey? But all my life I've always heard of beautiful and hair syntactically combined with the adjective- STRAIGHT. So I guess if I follow the rules on this one, then by extension I'm out of this beauty bracket...again. But when have I ever reaaaaaaaalllly followed the rules?:) The daemon that is Society stabs the people,who fall outside of the box,in their feet(foot's? gerund?)...again.

Up until the beginning of this year I've had varying lengths of hair, but mostly it's been mid-long. Avowed Goths/grungers (with CLEAN hair) don’t really opt for hair cutting. And it sort of suited me to look like Hermione Granger when I probably end up sounding like her all the time (given that Fate has landed me in the Blaaaaahnian Capital of Blaaaaahdium and I am generally surrounded by an intellectually devolved sub-species of humanity). **DISCLAIMER** (Now let me redeem myself here by saying that I’ve been blessed not to have very thick or coarse hair. My hair’s baby fine and soft and other such nice and pretty things so when it is straight most people can’t believe it was ever curly. Unlike some curly-haired people where you can take one look at their hair which seems to be fighting gravity and trying to spring back into curls despite the best attempts of the wearer to get it to stay on the sleek side. My hair's not really been chemically played with as well. My hair dresser makes a song and dance about my “virgin hair” (yes, I too am WTF? @ that comment) especially when there’s 10 year olds in the salon with foil in their hair (and they look at me like I’m a dork, which I might be, but that’s another chapter) Lol. OMG I must be SO vain, I’m blogging about my hair OMG! OMG! OMG!) **END OF DISCLAIMER** There's also just the practicality of it all, rather have a head full of bouncy curls which have occurred as your hair dries naturally then spend time with a hair dryer and feel like a girl. errrrrggghhhh.

Now, my hair obsession is borderline OCD here, people. I MUST wash and condition it every single day. That doesn’t sound like obsession at all, however like all good info-mercials…but wait, there’s more. Ummmm, yeah, the shampoo to conditioner ratio MUST be exact. 2 shampoos: 1 condition. Any person with an iota of mathematical knowledge will tell you that this theory holds valid at 4:2, 6:3 8:4 etc...Now you see what I mean? And no, I am not satisfied that my hair is washed until the maths works out. No I don't count, after 22 years on this planet you sort of develop a feel for things like that. And my maths is ALWAYS correct (at least when it comes to shampoo: conditioner use). If shampoos were arranged according to adjectives other than those negative ones (normal, oily, dry, yada yada) my shampoo type wouldn’t be normal(which is the only thing "normal" about me), it’d be Lovely or Beautiful or maybe, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe Perfect. hahaha zOMG the vanity, ok I’m in Lestat mode, I’m not like this generally, I swear.

Well then at the beginning of this year when I got back from my Indian adventure (read the executive summary somewhere down there↓) I decided to have the chop a few days upon my return. It was the hair obsession talking. I wanted to be perfectly sure that a hair dresser had professionally washed my hair, to make SURE that anything from India which could of possibly have contaminated my hair and scalp was OUT. I’m not saying India is full of nits and lice (I SHUDDER when I hear those words btw) cos it’s not, the Amla kills the stuff, I think, I hope… I wanted to make sure all the soot from the pollution was out because I would have sleepless nights over that worry. So I had a pretty drastic chop. The back bits could be spiked, but Butch does NOT appeal to this Sundance Kid, so it stays flat.

I love/d the look. I look/ed completely different. I regretted cutting my tresses the very next day and the day after and the day after that…. I only want to look like a Spawn of Ozzy (As in teh_Osbourne and DEFINITELY not one of his biologically connected ones, but you know what his hair is like black, long, down the middle etc etc) again for one reason. I’m no hair dresser [and (okay, make that two reasons) I’ve been told by several people now that I remind them of Kelly Clarkson. Yes, an ex POP-idol, WTF?WTF?WTF?]. Whoever the hell said short hair is low maintenance needs a kick up their opinionated derrière. It’s not. There’s this piece of hair that just bugs me though, the piece at my right ear will not do anything besides curl outwards. I’ve tried the hair iron business too, that helps considerably but the damn thing won’t stay down. And I HAVE to blow dry my hair nearly every single day because as adorable as hobbits are there’s no sweet f’n way I’m walking around looking like one… With double or more than the hair length I have now I could have sleek, straight hair in under 30 minutes, I now take a good 20 minutes to resemble something remotely un-hobbitish. The maths doesn’t add up.

This is the seriousness of the situation. I, me, moi, queen_Lestat feel the need to do something as outrageously girly as attempting to style my hair. ALTHOUGH (redemption) I don’t bother un-hobbiting myself if I’m gonna be at home. My hair doesn’t need to be fried with rotating hot air to within an inch of its life. This is one of those things that Blaaaaahnia causes. You don’t want to conform, but at some stage it starts creeping in into the little things like this. Meh…I’ve devised a new scheme, the queen shall NOT succumb, she’ll make ample use of her hats to disguise her lack of hairstyling talent. Besides Islam rocks!!! We’ve got a scarf for all seasons. Everything from beanies to the Blossom revival hats(not too fond of those cos I’m not 12 anymore, and neither am I going picnicking on a raft with a Mark Twain sponsored cast), Che Guevara-like berets (I’ve got an original one from the 50s or 60s. Talk about retro eh? YAY!! For liberal ancestors and stuff) to my trusty caps…

I shall prevail on this quest. My hair shall be spared another lifetime. My hair just HAS to grow back. Blaaaaahnia will have to find another way to try and ensnare me. HA!!! queen_Lestat countless thousands millions gazillions: Blaaaaahnia ½ *shines her nails on her collar* …

Diola lle
rah*

TRAUMA!!! Tragedy at the hands of ineffective pop-up blockers

2006-07-06T18:18:00.000+02:00

Thanks to the k-man for the make-over. Yips, the blogging bug has bitten and you're now reading the re-launched, funked-up version of the ChroniclesOfBlaaaaahnia.

Well now...look what popped onto my screen, the complete epitome of self-absorbtion and stupidity combined. However, I'm most pleased to announce that there is some hope for the human species since I also discovered that there is mirth to be had at the expense of some people's lives .

I find this most traumatic,really. That people can be famous for being airheads.For slutting around and being a digital-format porn-skank, suing your executive producer from a sense of supposed outrage and skandaaaaaaaal and then still taking a cut of the profits. For being totally spineless and soulless.And just downright Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah <---yes, that much emphasis is required. I bet David Icke's trying to figure out her lizard ancestory right as we speak.

It is with disgust,dismay and a general sense of the total loss of self worth that I have discovered that Miss Paree has written a book (albeit about total fluff and apparently it was ghostwritten) and I have yet to pen my first chapters. The fact remains that PARIS "teh_doos" HILTON has her name on that last bastion of the old world...a published book.Pages between covers.

This means WAR!!!How dare she and her marketing team infringe on my territory?How dare they deem her and her dimness worthy of being printed?Where's the publisher's sense of ethics? Do they not realise that giving her and her posse of fluff-balls entry into the domain of readers might just spawn an entire new generation of the scourge of Blaaaaahnia? As if we don't suffer enough already....

Once upon a time there was a battle against Evil and the Dark forces. It is noted in literary history as the Last Allegiance of Men and Elves. As a Vampyric-Elf I ask you all, let us hope that the plague ends with her.

Séjour Fort
rah*

PS k-man's wrath and logic spreads further than mine